New Music Review: Mariah Carey 'Caution'

So anyone who REALLY knows me, understands the love I have for Mariah NoMuthafuckingMiddleName Carey. I have been there since "Vision of Love" and made it through the Glitter era. Hell, even after that notorious NYE performance, I was still a proud member of the #lambily. See, I honestly believe that Mariah has reached Icon status and what we are NOT going to do on my watch, is deny her greatness. The stunts are fun. The voice is great (and the inspiration for your faves and your faves' faves, quiet as it's kept) The pen game is still strong. So what let's see what everyone's favourite Elusive Chanteuse is giving the kids on her FIFTEENTH album.


1. GTFO: If you aren't hip and cool, this is what the kids are saying when they want someone to "GET THE FUCK OUT". When Is saw the title, I assumed she was going to do some sort of play on this, but no, she just went ahead and said "How 'bout you get the fuck out?" I love Love LOVE when Mariah cusses. It feels so right and wrong at the same damned time. The production feels very vibey and makes me think of something off of a Drake album, but with a distinct Mariah angle. The video with her in the lingerie sipping wine felt VERY Mariah and made me want to kick my (non-existent) lover to the curb. We love a good breakup song.




2. With You : DJ Mustard is on the beat, ho. Sorry, I shouldn't have called you that, but the streets be talking... Kidding. Unlike many of Mustard's productions, this song is a piano driven ballad. It has an old Mariah production feel to it, but doesn't feel dated. Vocally she's doesn't appear to be flexing, but she totally is. She's using chest and head voice and even gives you a whistle note at the end. Do we deserve it? Probably not, but she's generous AF. The video feel very classic Mariah-- Black and white AND slow motion singing?! It's like "My All" and "We Belong Together" had a video baby.




3. Caution : This song has quite a nice knock and bounce to it. The track itself, is slinky and sexy and Mariah's stacatto delivery reminds me of the mumble rappers all over the radio. She does it in a way, that doesn't feel like she's trying too hard. Mariah might know what the kids like, but mama is still gonna do it her own way.


4 A No No She had me at the sample. She could have just cooed for 4 minutes over this beat and I would have lost my mind. The track samples "Crush on You" by Lil' Kim. If you didn't know that I'm going to wait for you to slap yourself in the face. Done? Ok, let's move on. Mariah says "irregardless" which always makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up, but it's ok because Mariah invented language. Irregardless is now a word, get on board. I love the ad libs Once again on this song, Mimi isn't here for this guy's bullshit and is letting him know what it is (and what it ain't).

5. The Distance This song features Ty dollar sign. I feel like there is a symbol in there somewhere, but I can't be bothered. When I saw Skrillex was the producer, I was genuinely confused and a little concerned. Sure the man has done some great work, but what was he going to do for Mariah? I forgot that Skrillex works with Poo Bear, who is not only a VERY large man with a ridiculous name, but a talented R&B songwriter as well. To be quite honest, when I heard "GTFO" and "With You" I thought this album had promise; this single had me confident Mariah wasn't messing around.The track just has a sexy, soulful groove that makes me make a stank face and do an ole NASTY two step. This is a nice little love song moment, even though I feel like most people I've known who love "they said we couldn't make it" types of songs are in unhealthy relationships that really need not go "The Distance" (Mariah isn't the only wordsmith, y'all!) Whew, let me stop being real and keep it to the music!

6. Giving Me Life COME ON LOWER REGISTER! This feels like very 90s in the best way possible. This reminds of something that could have been on the "Butterfly" album and it wouldn't sound out of place next to "The Roof". I'd be lying if I didn't just Google Slick Rick to make sure he was still with us. This is a cute song, but the ending? WHY DIDN"T ANYONE WARN ME?!?!

7. One Mo' Gen " For this song, Mariah has Wondagurl (21y/o producer who has worked with a BUNCH of hip hop heavyweights) and Poo Bear helping her write. It's a fun little bop about getting that vitamin D! (Yes I screamed that like Beyonce in "Apeshit") It's a song about sex but the flowery lyrics and wordplay keep it far from crass.

8. 8th Grade : Apparently Timbaland produced this with Poo Bear helping writing. The production isn't bass crazy or filled with any of Timbaland's usual tricks, but it just has a nice bounce to it. The Timbaland REALLY jumps out in the end and now all I can think about is Aaliyah singing over this track. I kind of wish Missy was part of this, as I really enjoy when Missy and Timbaland do R&B records together.

9 Stay Long Love You I think this is the most uptempo song on the album. This might be the song I like the least. There's nothing wrong with it, but I'm not making a screw face just yet. On this track Mariah is going back and forth with Gunna (? apparently I did know a song, but once again had to go to my good friend, Google). Maybe this is the formula that she had come up with way back when that J. Lo ALLEGEDLY stole? It might just be slow to grow on me. I didn't like "Obsessed" when I first heard it. Don't tell the other Lambs, I am already on thin ice for never having seen Glitter.

10 Portrait This is just Mariah and a piano. I think this is a great way to end this album. It has all these features and super producers, but Mimi wants us to remember that she doesn't need all that.




I am sold on this album. I think Mariah did a good job of stretching out and trying new things but still keeping it true to that which she has become known. I always love when producers and songwriters work with an artist and push themselves to deliver something outside of their norm. I mean, Mariah has Skrillex out here making 90s R&B/bump and grind tunes! Speaking of the 90s, this album is filled with older 90s vibes, but everything has been updated to feel very now and of the moment. People who want "Dreamlover" Mariah will be let down. Those who want Mimi to act her age and start singing strictly Auntie music might also be let down. People who are wanting a solid contemporary album from a ICON should be satisfied. No need to be cautious (see what I did there?), this album SLAPS. HAAAARD.

Yann the Run Tour: Cuba

So I’ve never been that person who makes a big deal out of his birthday. I loathe big and impersonal birthday dinners and have a fear that I would have a shitty turn out if ever I were to plan a big affair. With the exception of a surprise birthday party I commissioned a few years back (I told them I wanted it and was still somehow completely shocked when it actually happened), my birthday tends to be a low-key affair. I decided that this year I wanted to do something for my birthday. I thought a trip somewhere new would be a great way to renew my sense of self and celebrate another year of life on this earth.

I finally settled on Cuba earlier this year. I initially thought of going to a city and being with people who like me, but I thought it would be far more adventurous to go to a foreign place where I didn’t speak the language. I planned on going there myself, but told one of my best friends, Avalon, that I was going and she said that she was down. Truth be told, I was unsure of the whole idea. It was MY birthday trip and the whole point was to do things on my own. I ultimately decided that it was time that Avalon and I traveled together internationally. We started looking up flights and such and I started to get excited. Then I stopped hearing anything about Cuba. When I finally asked about it, and we looked up flights, they were hella expensive so I decided to scrap the trip. Avalon being Avalon tried to figure out a plan B, but I just wasn’t really trying to settle for a trip to Nashville when I had my sights set on Cuba.

I looked up tickets on my own and found that the price that I was initially quoted was still available for purchase. I told Avalon I was booking my flight that evening and she was on board, so we bought our tickets. IT WAS FINALLY HAPPENING!!! I looked up some places online and found two different places for us to stay: one in Habana Vieja, and the other in a small beach town. I went to my friend’s wedding in Chicago and then was swamped with shit at work leading up to the trip. It’s crazy how it crept on up me and I started getting nervous. I’ve been to Europe, but Cuba was different. Hell, they wanted me to have a Visa AND insurance? Is that even a thing? I had no frame of reference and didn’t have that many sources I could ask for information. On top of that, my best friend and her planning were stressing me the fuck out.

I finally reached a point where I remembered that this was my trip to enjoy. I could be stressed out, or I could let go and let God. Wednesday, I left work and ran to the store to buy last minute snacks, and random shit I felt like I would need. (spoiler alert: most of it stayed in it’s packaging) Avalon arrived late Wednesday evening and we wrapped up packing our luggage. Toilet paper? Check! Hand sanitizer? You betcha! Sunscreen? Hell yes. We tried to sleep the best we could and got up around 5:30 to get to the airport two hours before our 8:30 flight. It was wild getting there so early and having an hour to kill. Everyone should travel with a white friend/someone with better time management. I was sick with sinus issues but was NOT about to let that kill my sexy. We flew into Ft. Lauderdale, had a layover and were on our way to Havana!

Thursday:
Arrive in Havana and walk off the plane into the airport terminal. I was living for The Bodyguard dramatic fashion moment, but was instantly alarmed by the fact that it was 129312312312 degrees and I had on jeans and long sleeves. A man met us at the airport with a sign with my name on it. I felt like Jennifer Fucking Lopez. I don’t know her middle name and I’m too lazy to Google, sorry. The man took us in a taxi to our airBnB. He had a love for Bruno Mars that would end up being a theme for the trip.

I pulled up to the rental and had to put my American away with a quickness. The street was loud, smelly, and filled with run down buildings. Our place, however, was actually clean and cute, so I was able to be at ease. I washed my face and changed into something better suited for being on the surface of the sun.

We set out for dinner and got caught in a horrible storm. We were literally camped out in someone’s doorway for the better part of a half hour. When the rain let up we went to drinks. Dinner was had, but it was basically a ham sandwich so we went on to other places and got balls deep in mojitos.



Como se dice "struggle sandwich"?


Friday:

I needed culture after a night of drinking, so I wanted to go to museum or castle to feel classy. We went a nearby fort. It wasn’t on my list but ended up being a fun stop.

We went to the Museum of the Revolution, which was interesting. I have only learned of Cuba through the American perspective, so it was kind of jarring to hear the complete opposite. Hell, when we walked in, I saw a mural bashing three former US. presidents.

We explored the city some more and went to this old printing factory for dinner. We spotted it next door to the place from the night before with the sandwiches and I am so happy we went back. The food was so good.

After dinner, we went to have a drink in a bar and listen to music. They had a live band, but the real draw was the 90s/00s throwbacks they were playing. At one point I was lip synching for my life and the crowd was loving it. Ok, I was loving it, but that’s all that counts.

Saturday:

I wanted to go to the museum of Orishas so I could get some afro-Cuban culture in. Also, Beyonce channeling Oshun renewed my interest so I thought it’d be a fun stop and possibly a place to pick up lemonading attire.

We took a ride in a classic car to the Hotel Nacional, which was super touristy and cheesy, but really fun. Our driver took our photo and tried to get us to kiss. I guess he didn’t see how tight/short my shorts were. Sad.

At the hotel we met a couple from the DMV area. They were really sweet and actually gave us a restaurant suggestion for our dinner that evening. The hotel also had a really cool bunker/fall out area that I played around in before an impending storm.

Dinner was at this place called Atelier. It was good enough for Michelle Obama, so you know it was perfect for me. I felt classy AF, even though they sat us with a bunch of Americans (ew!)

Walking home we walked down the Malecon, which is basically the hangout spot by the beach. People just blasted music and drank rum and kicked it. It was really cool to see.



I really wish you guys could hear Despacito playing in the background.


Sunday:

Went on a last minute trip to buy cigars and rum. The tobacconist was closed for fumigation (yikes) so I just bought a shit ton of run for like 15 dollars.

Drove out to our beach house and the whole time I was regretting the decision. The taxi was old AF (But not like those cute ones the tourists take...my window didn’t even roll down) and the town looked like a Cuba’s version of Deliverance. The house was amazing and I was wrong. THe beach was like 5 minutes away and so beautiful.



The trip was great. It was hard for me to leave. On Monday I went to the beach alone to just reflect on everything. It was actually pretty amazing being without a phone or internet. I did things for myself and not the Gram. I was able to be present in every activity that I was doing. I was reminded of how fortunate we are in the US to have all the things we do. Cuba showed me how those things, although nice, aren’t necessary for fun. I met strangers who were so warm and welcoming. It might have been because I apparently come off “very Cuban” or because I “look like Obama” I really don’t care the reason, I just know that it was great to have people so excited to tell me about their land/culture and ensure I had a good time.

After uncovering a new part of the world, I’m still on a high. I feel like I can do most anything. I plan on riding this high out as long as I can as I start my 23rd (*Mariah Giggles*) I err 36th year on earth. I look forward to taking other trips to new places to do my part to shrink the world and break down walls to prove once again that people are people. I'd also like to add that I'm happy that my friend and I were able to pull off this trip together and we both survived it. She watches a LOT of murder shows so I was on edge for much of the trip.



So I know accepting booze from randoms is never a good idea, but he had on American flag trunks. The lady helped translate our conversation and at one point we all started singing We are the World. It was magical.

BHM Day 28: Rep. Maxine Waters

I have never really fancied myself a politigay. The whole process of politics can be exhausting, confusing, and flat out fucked up. Recently, I’ve had to become an adult and take my head out of the sand and start paying attention to what was going on around me. Shit is real in these here streets, y’all! Today I am shining the BHM spotlight on the woman who inspired me to get up and write for damn near 28 days straight: Representative Maxine Moore Waters.

I didn’t really know about Maxine Waters, until I read an article that was widely circulated called, “Congresswoman Maxine Waters Will Read You Now”. The article wasn’t any literary gem, but it did highlight all of the times when Ms. Waters was fresh out of fucks to give. Immediately, I felt connected to her. I followed her on Twitter and Facebook and my life hasn’t been the same ever since.

Now Rep. Waters has been around for a minute. I’m sure she’s done lot of things politically, but I’m not here to discuss any of that today. Today we talk about her commitments to keeping it all the way 100. Instead of being fake, she’s the type of chick who starts a press conference with a “Can I help you? What do you want??” Mind you she’s not working at Checkers at 12a, she’s AT A FUCKING PRESS CONFERENCE. I’ve spent my whole life trying to pretend to care, but she makes it ok not to. For her, I am thankful.

I guess what I can appreciate is how Maxine Waters is pretty much trolling Trump the way so many Republicans trolled Obama. People are calling for her to play nice with him, but many of those same critics were silent when people did the same thing eight years ago.Feel how you want to feel, but I think it’s important for politicians to speak up (even if I don’t necessarily agree) and take a stand. Holding hands and singing Kumbaya is not always the answer. Furthermore, you gotta love someone who stands in his/her truth and doesn’t back down. At the end of this segment, the host gave Rep. Waters a chance to tone down “scumbags” into something a bit more PC, but she wasn’t having it. Ol’ girl basically hit him with a Nene Leakes “I shaid what I shaid!!”




Thanks for fighting the good fight. Thanks for the shade and best of all, thanks for all the memes. Today on this final day of BHM, we shine the light on Sister Maxine Waters! Let's look at some photos!

I call this "Zero Fucks Given"



I give you "Bish Whet?"



Lastly, I offer up "Your Smug Auntie"

Also, I really wish I could walk out of work like this most days:

BHM Day 25: Luvvie Ajayi

I REALLY need to reach out to my lawyers as I am sick and tired of people taking my ideas and profiting from them! I don’t know how my book idea got out, but it did and Luvvie Ajayi stole it and has a NYT Bestseller on her hands because of it. I mean I was jokingly talking to my friend about how I needed movers for a move to NYC and I logged into Facebook to see an ad for, YOU GUESSED IT, MOVERS IN NYC! The muthafucking hills have eyes and there are snakes on this plane!

Ok,but in all seriousness, Sometime late last year, my friend Alicia told me about this book by Luvvie Ajayi called I’m Judging You: The Do Better Manual. It seemed like a fun read but y’all know I get distracted easily. I probably saw something shiny and forgot about it. I was visiting a friend recently and she had the book on her shelf and I picked it up. I am so glad I did, as I’m Judging You was a fun, easy read.

I’d heard of Luvvie, as she has a successful blog and large social media presence. Just on that alone, she’s a great contender for Black excellence, but then she had to go and be a University of Illinois graduate and from Chicago. The girl just went and stole my heart. I love her writing style as it’s very conversational. It’s taken me like two solid sessions to read the book.

The essays can sometimes be light in nature. She discusses different types of friends and even brings up the dreaded “Dinner Scrooge” who orders up heaps of food and tries the “let’s split the bill evenly”. That had me doing a LOT of head nodding like “girl, ain’t that the truth!” She talks about why Black feminists feel excluded from feminist movements. The book has her talking about rape culture and white privilege, but then talking about how not be the absolute worst on social media. She’s so wise and awesome. I’m chalking it up to U of I. (Go Illini!)

Luvvie is making major moves and I just found out that she got a production deal with Shonda Rhimes. SHONDA “I own all you hoes on Thursday night” Rhimes! This has potential to be massive. Let me go ahead and shine the BHM spotlight on her now so I can tell you all “I told you so!” when everyone else discovers her awesomeness.

BHM Day 23: Paris is Burning

I don’t remember who first told me to watch the documentary, Paris is Burning, but I owe them an edible arrangement. I mean, who doesn’t love those things? They’re freaking adorable! Anyway, let’s move on! (but first, if anyone needs my mailing address to send me one, please feel free to reach out) The documentary came out in the early 90’s but I probably only saw it within the past 4 years. The film takes viewers into the ball culture that was such a big movement on one hand, but relatively unknown to so many on the other.

I think movies like this one are important for people of all walks of life. For gays, it’s important to see our history, as we are often overlooked by history books. If they’re barely talking about white gays, can you imagine the coverage Black, Latino and trans people get in history? Don’t think too long, because oftentimes those are the ones forgotten first. For straight people and allies, it helps just seeing a world outside of their own.

I initially didn’t think I’d like the film. I don’t vogue (Although I did almost break my neck attempting a suicide fall/death drop) and I don’t particularly enjoy drag. I’m glad I got over myself, because the film is so much more than that. I learned about the level of community and family present in the ball world. I learned just how unoriginal we all are. I mean, when “Let’s Have a Kiki” was on Glee, I knew it was the beginning of the end. People were excited to learn of this brand new phrase, but the gag is that the phrase was old as hell. The Housewives of Atlanta have done a great job of introducing people from the flat states (No shade, I’m from Illinois so I can say that. ) to the term of shade and reading. But it’s important to acknowledge that it didn’t begin with those women and in fact it began a long time ago by gay Black and Latino men. That’s why sometimes I have to cock my head to the side when I hear people using our slang, but then turning around and saying some homophobic shit. I will dig into this a bit more at a later time, but let’s just keep the attention on this great film.


Classic Moment in 3...2..1:

BHM Day 22: The New Jim Crow

So I first heard about The New Jim Crow through Matt McGorry’s Twitter. On OITNB he plays the cop with a heart of gold, who impregnates a prisoner. He also appears on How to Get Away with Murder as the douchey guy with a heart of gold. Off screen, Matt is very politically minded and is a big supporter of women and minorities. He went from awkwardly cute, to my down ass sexual white chocolate. It’s a long nickname, so if anyone has a better suggestion, I’m open to any suggestions.

Anyway, so the book… I rented it and read it over a couple weeks. I’m a fast reader, but this book was a slow read for me. I should’ve known that when I saw the references to actual trials AND footnotes, this was going to be intense AF. Michelle Alexander does a great job of showing how the US ended up with this massive issue of mass incarceration on its hands. Alexander likens mass incarceration to a caste like system of oppression. This book was fascinating for me not only because it lacked pictures (kidding) but because so many points from it were relevant to current events.

Many think that just because Blacks can vote and drink at the water fountain of his/her choosing that all is equal. Alexander points to different points in the achievement for Black’s rights and we almost always see a backlash from the establishment ( usually White men of privilege) as they scrambled to maintain some sort of dominance. Slaves were freed, but then laws were created that made it easy for former slaves to be arrested and forced to do what was, essentially slave labour. Blacks could vote (Yay!!) but poll taxes and literacy tests help to suppress Black voters. (boo) According to Alexander, mass incarceration that we are in today is a response to the ending of the Jim Crow laws. Your history teacher wasn’t lying when he/she said that history loves to repeat itself.

This post isn’t meant to be a long ass book report; there’s so much to this book that you just need to experience on your own. I felt 1000x smarter after reading it and refer back to often when debating racist people online. The New Jim Crow should be required reading. If you are Black, it tells you just how skewed the system is. It’s one thing to grow up hearing “the whole system is fucked up” but it’s another so see the hard data and evidence. White people can benefit from the book just by being made more aware of their privilege. It’s not done in a way to shame or be Anti- White, but presents a compelling argument before the readers as if to say “Here are the facts, if this doesn’t sit right with you, do something”

Since this book gave me so many speaking points and made me think so much, I am shining the BHM spotlight on it. Hopefully some of you might read it and maybe we can discuss it. It’d be like Oprah’s book club, but I’m not wealthy and bread is just ok to me…

BHM Day 21: Rihanna

I initially thought about giving Rihanna (Robyn if you are a close friend, or aspire to be like I do) some BHM love after I saw her at the Grammy awards. She got shut out, which sucks, as I thought Anti was one of her best projects to date. Then I saw her on the show drinking from her flask and generally not giving a damn and I remembered why I love Rihanna: the woman doesn’t need any of our accolades to let her know just how bad she is.
Rihanna’s fame is still pretty fascinating. She’s not the best singer.



I’m kidding.. she was like fifteen back then. Plus Rihanna has definitely taken the criticism and has clearly been working on her vocals.



I love the youtube comment saying that she had gasoline in that water bottle, because she was spitting fire. That made me chuckle.


Rihanna wasn’t known as the best performer. She was borderline lazy on stage. She’s upped her game on that as well. I won’t post videos as this is becoming a VERY Youtube heavy post. (sidebar: I’m mad she decided to do that without telling me. I ended up missing her ANTI tour and it looked like so much fun) So she’s upped her vocals and her showmanship, but Rihanna has become so much more than just another pop act. The woman is a cultural force NOT to be tried. The fashion world loves her and she’s out here slaying covers left and right with ease. Her collaboration with Puma has been massive and she won shoe of the year. Apparently there’s an award for that? She’s doing movies and TV and just ensuring we see that beautiful Bajan grille of hers everywhere.


So even though yesterday was her birthday, the gift of her breaking yet another record came today. Thanks to her latest single (and my new go to car Karaoke tune), Rihanna now has more top ten singles than Michael Jackson. MICHAEL MUTHAFUCKING JACKSON. Let that sink in. I can wait. Ok, I lied.. I need to wrap this up and watch my stories. The girl who most people didn’t think would make it past her sophomore album is now eight albums in and breaking records that have been around for decades. So maybe she didn’t win a Grammy a couple weeks ago, but who cares about that little ass trophy when she clearly has the world’s hearts and minds in the palm of her tattooed hand. She's at the point where she can do whatever she wants and people don't just deal, they go absolutely mad over it. Rihanna, shine bright like a diamond (see what I did there) in today’s BHM spotlight!

Also, I just really wanted to thank her for all the .GIFS she has bestowed upon us.

BHM Day 20: Winnie Harlow

I have been a fan of America’s Next Top Model from the start. Ok, maybe I missed cycle 1, but I definitely went back and rewatched during a VH1 marathon. Tyra picked aspiring models and molded them in her likeness. She showed them how to smize and other tricks that made Tyra a household name. I can’t really think of any winner from ANTM who actually became a top model, but they got money so they should shut their pretty faces up and keep it pushing, OKAY?!

I remember seeing this girl on a cycle a few years back named Chantelle. She wasn’t warm and fuzzy and took bomb photos, so naturally I adored her. What made her stand out was her skin. She has vitiligo, an autoimmune disease that causes the body to destroy its own melanocytes (the cells responsible for producing pigment in skin), which results in patches of white skin. I actually knew all of that on my own and didn’t have to Google anything. I think people forget that I’m like REALLY smart. Anyway, Tyra was fascinated by the symmetry of her depigmentation and recruited her via Instagram. See, doing the most of the Gram might get you discovered. Well that, or it might make you look like a sad thirst trap, but I’m sure none of my readers fall into that category. Chantelle fell shy of the finals and was given the boot for being icy and standoffish. (she's just like me!)

A couple years later and I see the winner of that cycle doing some random modeling jobs, but I am seeing Chantelle (err, now she’s going by Winnie Harlow) everywhere! She recently just closed out both Coach and Julien Macdonald’s fashion shows. It’s great to have the fashion world love you, but do you know what’s better than that? Having Beyonce say “Hey baby girl, you wanna be in my top secret movie, Lemonade? Ok, meet me in NOLA, it’s going DOWN, sis!” (Ok, I don’t know if that’s how the conversation went down, but I’m going to assume it until proven otherwise.)


Modeling contracts and Beyonce videos are dope and what any model would aspire to achieve. Winnie has helped changed the face of beauty in the sometimes stagnant fashion world. She’s forcing people to see not only her beauty, but the beauty of others. Her impact can be seen in the current GapKids campaign, which features April Star, a young girl with vitiligo. Because of Winnie’s efforts, April has a legitimate chance of being a working model. Winnie has given so many young people who have been told they are ugly hope, and that is a huge impact. WHitney taught us that the children are our future! Today I celebrate her beauty as well as her commitment to changing the face of beauty.

BHM Day 19: Issa Rae

I hate being late to the party. Well not actual parties; being on time isn’t chic at all. I’m talking about finding out about something after everyone has. I had never watched or even heard of The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl. It was a web series on YouTube that was created by Issa Rae. She then took elements of the series and wrote a New York Times Bestseller of the same name. I only heard of it/her after hearing of a young, Black woman who had landed her own show on HBO called Insecure. I gave into the buzz and watched the show, which is odd given I rarely listen to the opinions of others. Mary J Blige wouldn’t lead me astray would she?

"I don't listen to people's opinions. I have people around me who I can trust, but most of all I listen to myself." - Mary. J Blige.


Damnit, MJB had sidetracked me again! Anyway, so Insecure is an amazing show. It centers on Issa and her best friend Molly, who are two young women living in California. Unlike most shows, neither Issa nor Molly have their shit together. Molly has a bomb job and wardrobe but cant keep a guy. Issa has a job (that I get the impression she kind of hates) and a man, but they’re out of the honeymoon phase and shit is getting real. That’s what I think I like about the show. I love my Annalise Keatings and my Olivia Popes, but sometimes it’s great to see someone who is a hot mess, like myself. I knew early on that I liked this show when I was blessed with this gem:



As I got more into the show I reached the conclusion that Issa is basically a female version of me. She randomly raps in the show and I randomly sing. On the show, Issa walks in on her coworkers talking shit about her and I have been in that same boat. She handles microaggressions in the workplace with passive aggressive answers but cusses them the fuck out in her head. Bitch stole my coping strategy!

Insecure is not only great because it’s my life story, but it’s dope because of just how Black it is. They cast has some great actors and is directed by Melina Matsoukas. She’s probably best known for directing videos for Beyonce. Speaking of Bey, the soundtrack is curated by Solange. Issa got Raphael Saadiq to do the music. Basically she’s stacked the deck with a bunch of talented ass black people. Issa is passionate about ensuring the quality and presence of Black TV by putting POC is roles in front of and behind the cameras. It’s one thing to be famous and well off on your own, but it’s another thing when you are able to put on other people at the same damn time. Today we celebrate Issa Rae for not only being talented, but being selfless enough to help other Black people out. Just think what could be accomplished with a mindset like hers instead of all of these hating ass people who don’t want to see anyone who isn’t them succeed… *insert Keanu “whoa”* Issa has no need to be awkward of insecure, she should feel confident knowing she's a bad bitch and has a career as bright as her bright ass smile ahead of her.

BHM Day 18: Moonlight

I’m usually not the person who gets excited about seeing movies. Beyond that, the movies that I tend to like are typically not recipients of any accolades. I mean, Mean Girls was robbed by the Academy and I’m still in my feelings over that, but that’s for another blog post during White History Months. Kidding! (sort of) When I started hearing people saying “oh you absolutely MUST go see Moonlight” it made me want to see it less. It seemed like it was going to be one of those over hyped projects that put me to sleep. Boy am I glad that I got over that and took my happy ass to the theatre. Moonlight turned out to be an AMAZING movie on so many different levels. Today, we are shining the BHM on a great movie that just happens to be Black as hell.


It’s not very often that I get to see a movie with people who look like me. It’s hard enough to get Black films made as is, and sometimes it feels like Black movies are overlooked unless they are about slavery. Not that we need to stop talking about slavery and the impact it’s had and continues to have, but I think it’s important to tell diverse stories that reflect how diverse Black people are. Now me asking for a movie about Blackness AND discussing homosexuality is just absurd! Oh but wait, Moonlight came to the rescue!

For those of you who haven’t been made gay by vaccines and MTV, don’t feel like you can’t see Moonlight. It has gay themes, but isn’t overtly gay. But to those of you who can’t handle seeing two men together, I think it’s time you look at the deeper issue… The movie tells a great story about a kid growing up in Miami. He has a fucked up home life (mom didn’t get the memo about crack being whack, but got the memo about it being cheap :( ) and gets taken in by a drug dealer with a heart and mouth of gold. We see the character go from childhood to adulthood and see how the relationships evolve. There’s much more to the film, but I’ll leave it to you to see it if you haven’t.

The storytelling is great and the acting is on point. Visually the movie is just nice to see. It was so well shot. I was thrilled to see Moonlight get all eight of its Oscar nominations. They were so well deserved. Maybe this might be the film to help counteract the past few years (decades) of #OscarsSoWhite. Maybe not. I do know that films like this are important to proving that Black people in compelling stories will sell tickets. Moonlight is a great Black film, but even more important is the fact that it’s just a great film. I doubt there's a sequel, but I'd request to see more shirtless/gratuitous nude scenes with this fine ass man:




wait, he was trying to look hard and damaged, he can look better!

BHM Day 17: Sisqó

The other day I was on Daddy (Well Uncle, as Maury said that baby was NOT mine!) Daycare Duty and was driving my niece to go cheer. We were listening to music and :The Thong Song” “came on. A better person would have changed the station, but I felt like it was important for her to learn about classic music. I thought about shining the BHM spotlight on Sisqó but then I saw something shiny and totally forgot.

Last night, I came across an article talking about a man who was pretending to be to Sisqó get into New York Fashion Week shows. He was successful at Phillipp Plein and Vivienne Tam. He got caught when trying to board a yacht when he showed his passport. I read the article and couldn’t believe that Sisqó (real or fake) would be able to get into a fashion show in 2017. I mean Trump is president and Sisqó is still getting VIP treatment?! #Disturbia Then I stopped being such a shady bitch for 2.5 minutes and remembered all that man have given us:

He was in Dru Hill, which gave us some great R&B hits. I can only remember “In My Bed” right now, but I’m certain there were more.

He had a song with Mya which was the jam back in the day.

He went solo with his album Unleash the Dragon and blessed us with “The Thong Song”. The song really is just him repeating one verse and a chorus but he does it with such emotion and conviction that he just sells the hell out of it. The video is so ridiculous and involves him doing one handed cartwheels and shit. It looks utterly ridiculous now, but I feel like i remember it looking ridiculous when it came out. He looks so zesty with his platinum hair, that it’s almost adorable when he’s singing lines like:

She had dumps like a truck truck truck
Thighs like what what what
Baby move your butt butt butt
I think I’ll sing it again



Sisqó had a moment in music that we can’t deny. He was the Bobby Brown of his group. He gave us vocals, choreography and a song dedicated to women’s undergarments. Today I celebrate all 5 feet of Sisqó!

Bonus Clip! I think this is probably his best song and video I love how he starts off with “Do I grab the back of yo neck to make you listen to me?”

BHM Day 16: Laverne Cox

I was watching the show Star today and much of this week’s episode focused on the trans character Cotton. We see Cotton be fun and fabulous, but we also learn about her insecurities. We see the struggle with her family and how she has to even resort to sex work to pay for gender reassignment surgery. The show does a decent job of humanizing a trans woman. Even though I’m gay I don’t really have any friends who are trans, so I think depictions like that are important.

Today isn’t about Amiyah Scott, the actress who plays Cotton, it’s about Laverne Cox. I’m not 100% sure, but I think Laverne Cox was the first trans person I ever saw on TV. She was on a show on MTV about wanting to work for Diddy. I honestly don’t remember much about it, but I do remember her. You don’t see many openly gay or trans people in the hip hop world, so I was rooting for her to win. When I saw her on Orange is the New Black, I kind of braced myself waiting for some sad exploitation to occur. Thankfully, I was wrong and they wrote compelling storylines for her and helped expose many Americans to their first trans person. It was on this show, that I got to see her acting chops. I wasn’t alone, as Laverne earned an emmy nod and became the first trans person to do so.

I shine today’s BHM spotlight on Laverne Cox because I feel like BHM often forgets the LGBTQ community. Black trans women are being assaulted and killed at alarming rates, but we aren’t talking about it. Laverne is getting the word out about her community and has been a valuable asset. I so fondly remember her checking Katie Couric when she was on her show and Couric kept on referring to “transgendereds” and asking about what people had between their legs. Laverne helped get Katie all the way together.

You know I love a good read:


Laverne is a noted card carrying member of the Beyhive, and I feel like we need to stick together. Beyond that, she actually seems like a fun and interesting person. Today I celebrate this actor and activist for being such a loud and important voice to the community. May she continue breaking down walls and just being a bad bitch in general.

BHM Day 15: Olivier Rousteing

I have long been a huge fan of couture. Before every fashion house Instagrammed runway shows and tweeted looks from their collection, I would watch Fashion TV and read magazines to stay in the know. I was in awe of the over- the - top fashion shows and impressed by the sheer artistry the designers would present collection after collection. I have long had the feeling that the old couture houses were racist and stodgy AF. Sure they employed their share of gay, white men, but I hardly saw people that looked like me at the forefront.

Imagine my excitement when Olivier Rousteing was named creative director for Balmain. He was talented, young, gay, and oh yes, BLACK. Fashion insiders were said to be in their feelings that this relatively unknown “kid” was handed over this fashion house that was over sixty five years old. I don’t know if I can fully express how excited I am when the old school is pressed over Black excellence.

Olivier helped to reinvent and reinvigorate the brand. He catered to his growing Asian clientele and saw his profits grow accordingly. He made Balmain one of the first Instagram couture brands and helped propel them past a million followers. He was able to infuse his love of pop culture by landing Kardashians at his shows and Rihanna is his campaign. Just like that, this old, French house became well known across the globe.


Today I am shining the BHM spotlight on Olivier not for being a Black person in fashion, but for being a FORCE in the ultra- White world of couture. Feel how you want to about his designs (quiet as it’s kept, I don’t always love everything he sends down the runway) but you cannot deny the impact he has had and continues to have. Oh, and I’m not even going to get into his bone structure of adorable French accent. Screw it, it’s my blog and I’ll do as I please. I think he’s adorable and I feel like we would get along so well. Olivier if you’re reading this (I know he’s not) I am totally fine with the idea of moving to France. Also, I’m a size 31 err actually just DM me. Enjoy your day in the light, boo!

BHM Day 14: Black Bachelorette

When news of the FIRST Black Bachelorette broke last night, I pretty much rolled my eyes and went back to doing whatever I was doing. I watch a LOT of trash reality TV, but that show has never kept my attention. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever watched it. Oh well. It seems a bit late on the part of the show to just now be featuring a Black lead after almost fifteen years. Better late than never? Girl, I guess… Sadly, today’s BHM spotlight is not going to Black Bachelorette, Rachel Lindsay. Why, rob her of this great distinction? Well, I for one, am not going to sit up here and pretend that she’s the first Bachelorette.


Tiffany “New York” Pollard gets the distinction of being the first. Yes, She came from Flava of Love and not the Bachelor, but it’s basically the same thing, right? I don’t care if you back me up, as Black Twitter has my back on this one and they totally trump your opinion. New York stole the show on Flava of Love. The show itself, was a parody, so that gave her even more opportunity to be over the top and ridiculous. They brought her back for a second season, only to have her lose again

Most people would have given up after being a two - time reality show loser, but not New York! She persisted! (Elizabeth Warren, who?) She went on to have her own spin off show, I Love New York, where she looked for love. After two seasons, she was still hella single, which leads me to believe that love is just not for her. Kidding! (sort of?) New York managed to turn her fifteen minutes of fame into thirty. She became a fixture of reality TV and by my count, has appeared on eight shows. Talk about turning lemons into lemonade (Beyonc.. Ok, let’s not get crazy here)


I guess my post about Black love didn’t turn out being about love, but I stayed on topic with the Black part, so there’s that! I am going to instead, shine my BHM spotlight on Tiffany “New York” Pollard for being a trailblazer of reality television. She took a bunch of losses in love so that women like Rachel Lindsay could have a chance at winning. Thank you sister York Pollard,thank you.

BHM Day 13: Beyoncé

Fun fact: I don’t think of myself of Beyoncé Stan. Yes, I own all of her albums and have forked over my hard earned coins to see her live on many occasions, but I don’t think I’m on the level of a Stan. I don’t really argue about Beyoncé, even when you hoes try and talk reckless just to get a rise out of me. When y’all go low, I cuss you out in my mind and then Tweet about you later. That’s what Michelle said, right? Anyway.. I feel like stans have an abundance of time, memes, and graphs to support his/her faves. I couldn’t tell you how many singles Bey has sold, or how many Grammy Awards she’s gotten. All I know is that the woman puts out music that I enjoy and consistently entertains me.
So I guess I said all of that, to let you guys know that I am not here as a fan. I can be objective when it comes to Beyoncé. Wanna see? Ok fine, you untrusting ass… I didn’t really enjoy the second disc of I Am.. Sasha Fierce. It bored me and I can’t remember half of the songs on it. See!?

Now that I’ve restored my journalistic integrity, can we PLEASE talk about Beyoncé at the Grammy Awards last night? Last night was the first time anyone would have seen Bey after her Instagram announcement of her pregnancy. What would she do? (EVERYTHING) What would she wear? (the garments fit for a bad bitch) Well Mama Tina came on the screen and I knew shit was about to go down. Beyoncé appeared on a large video screen serving up Oshun realness. Oshun is the Yoruba goddess of love, beauty, fertility, and prosperity. (I might be missing some things, but feel free to Google--it’s free!) She gave us Black Madonna. There might have been a Hindu reference thrown in there as well. Some people thought it be narcissistic, but I saw it as an important message to women. Somewhere along the line, women have forgotten their place in history as goddesses and Beyoncé is here to remind us all.

Beyond that message, Beyoncé proved that pregnancy isn’t going to stop her. Was she dropping down low and sweeping the floor wit it? Nope. Did she have two dancers help her as she walked down stairs? Ya damned skippy! Somehow she was able to evolve her show from full on, in your face choreography, to one of understated choreography and stunning visuals. Bey had the audience captivated for a smooth 9 minutes and she wasn’t even signing any of her biggest songs off the album.

Ultimately, Beyoncé was once again shut out of Album of the Year, but it’s just a Grammy.. I mean Kanye actually had a point when he called them out of touch. Plus, I think the notion of voting on something like art is kind of odd to begin with. Rihanna is constantly getting snubbed but she doesn’t care. Bitch showed up with a bedazzled flask and enjoyed the free show. She can rest easily knowing she’s selling out arena shows and is one of the most influential artists out right now.

Speaking of influential, let’s bring this back to Beyoncé and the influence she’s had over the past year or so. “Formation” came out and was unapologetically Black. I remember a (White) coworker saying how she didn’t like/understand it, and all I could say is “that’s fine.. It’s not for you”. The video featured Black women of all shades with natural hair and touched on police brutality. Bey was owning her Blackness and empowering us all to do the same. I think Adele put it best last night:


The Lemonade album, Beyoncé, was so monumental, and so well thought out, and so beautiful and soul-bearing. And we all got to see another side of you that you don't always let us see, and we appreciate that. And all us artists adore you. You are our light.
And the way that you make me and my friends feel, the way you make my black friends feel, is empowering, and you make them stand up for themselves. And I love you. I always have. And I always will.


So fuck a Grammy, today I am shining the BHM spotlight on you, Mrs. Knowles-Carter. You could easily stop right now and know that you’ve made a massive impact on this world, but something tells me you’re just getting started. Also, please don’t quit. I need you. Adele needs you. WE. ALL. NEED. YOU.


Please note the bad bitch moment that was reading an acceptance speech off a gold card that matched her outfit completely:

BHM Day 12: Viola Davis

EGOT= Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony Award Winner.

When one EGOTs, there is little doubt that they are the shit. I mean, to win accolades for film, television, theatre, and music? There are some people who are good at one thing, and then there are others who can just do whatever it is they want to do. To EGOT is to be part of a very small circle of elite performers. When it comes to POC (person of colour, keep up people!) who have achieved this feat, only Whoopi Goldberg comes to mind. Well folks, it looks like Viola Davis is trying to join that inner circle
I am not a big movie person, so I wasn’t aware of her critically acclaimed work until recently. I know she made waves with her role in The Help and that kind of made me sit up and take notice. Truthfully, I got to know her best for her role on How to Get Away with Murder. The show instantly grabbed me, and I lived for the badass Black female lawyer who was running shit. It wasn’t until I started seeing her do things like take off false lashes and makeup or get her natural hair combed on TV that I was like “Oh, she’s out here trying to win an Emmy” She was stripping down and giving the people raw emotion. It worked and she won the award in 2015 and became the first Black woman to win said award. Crazy, right?

Raw Emotion 101:



As for the Grammy, I’m not sure how that’ll work out, as I’ve never heard her sing. Maybe she could win whatever award Hillary Clinton won? OR, she could do something with Allison Krause, because the Grammy voters LOVE her. She STAYS winning awards.

The Oscar could very well happen this year. Her role in Fences has earned her numerous awards, one of which being her fifth SAG award. She’s the first Black woman to earn five. She also just got the Golden Globe, which can sometimes be a good indicator of Oscar voting. Speaking of Oscars noms, can we just talk about Viola being the first Black woman to earn three nominations? She’s clearly coming into her own in the acting world and people are appreciating her work




Since Viola knew she was the shit,she went ahead and got her Tony early on to get it out of the way. I didn’t even know she did stage acting, but then again I am just learning that she graduated from Juilliard. I am shining the BHM spotlight on Viola Davis for being multi dimensional enough to make an EGOT possible. I have faith in her (provided she reaches out to that Krause woman) and I’m curious to see what her career holds in store.

BHM Day 11: Shirley Ann Jackson

As long as phones have existed, there have been Black women who did, in fact, not like people playing on their phones. It’s nice outside and I don’t feel like doing extensive research, but I’m going to assume that’s what prompted Shirley Ann Jackson’s invention of caller ID. (People often credit her with the invention, but it was her research that paved the way. Here we deal in REAL FACTS, weird, right?) Thanks to Ms. Jackson, we no longer have to answer the phone with the fear of the unknown. Is that broke ass Ray Ray calling to borrow money again? Don’t answer it, sis! Are you broke ass Ray Ray and the person to whom you owe money is now trying to collect? You better Matrix on that ass and send them to voicemail!


Before we move on, I’d be doing you all a great disservice if I didn’t share this skit from the Chappelle show:




Shirley Ann Jackson might need her own “Hidden Figures” because her accomplishments are just that amazing and unknown. She was the first Black woman to earn a doctorate from MIT. That’s impressive right? No, earning a doctorate from MIT in NUCLEAR FUCKING PHYSICS in impressive. I’ll wait while y’all clap. She once again made history by being the first woman and the first Black person to serve as Chairman of the Nuclear Regulatory Committee. Other lessers would have been satisfied, but not Shirley! She went to Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute to be their first Black, and first female president. Sista girl was about the coins, as this position also put her among the highest paid presidents of universities.

Shirley Ann Jackson’s resume would be pretty amazing for a white male. The fact that she’s been able to accomplish as much as she has is inspiring as hell. Stories like hers NEED telling, so today I’m shining the BHM spotlight on her.

BHM Day 10: Blackish

When I first read that ABC was putting out a show called Blackish I had some initial reservations. Although, I was happy to see another show on TV with a cast that looked like me, it had potential to be SUPER corny. Would they try to be Cosby 2.0? Would they be “too urban”? Would they not be “urban enough” I was curious to see what they did with the show, and knew the importance of a show like this. There aren’t many shows featuring a predominantly Black cast that focuses on family. In this genre, I can think of Good Times, The Cosby Show, Family Matters, and Moesha. When it comes to Black television, there just doesn’t seem to be many examples of positive Black families.


Despite my initial dislike of Anthony Anderson, I actually liked Blackish upon first watching it. It centers on a doctor and an advertising exec who have four kids and live in a nice house in the suburbs. The writing was witty and many of the topics were relatable to me. I mean, when I moved to the suburbs, my family was THE Black family on our street and I’m pretty sure we doubled the population of Black kids in my elementary school. I also liked how Blackish presents the perspective of three different generations of Black people. Additionally, through the character of Rainbow, we sometimes hear how a biracial person feels about certain subjects. The show tackles important issues like guns, interracial dating, police brutality, and therapy in the Black community. The show is real, but never feels heavy, as the issues are addressed with a mix of comedy.






Today I shine the BHM spotlight on Blackish for helping show another side of Black people. Somewhere between crack heads and Diddy exists people like the family on Blackish. Critics of the show felt that it wasn’t an accurate representation, but I feel like this might be one of the shows (and Gossip Girl) that best represents my childhood. Many of my other friends are of the same opinion. Hell, even people who aren't Black can watch it and get something out of it! This show is for everyone! Oh, and no, I do not work for Blackish or ABC, but I would gladly take any money they are wanting to throw my way.

BHM Day 9: Azealia Banks

Typically I use these BHM posts to shine a light on Black people who are or have made contributions to society; today I am shining it on a sista who needs us to lift her up. No, I’m not talking about Michelle Williams (the Black one)! She’s doing just fine and selling her linens to the masses! I am talking about Azealia Banks. She’s known for skin bleaching and fighting but there’s more to her than her stunty ways.
Azealia’s song “212” blew up and helped catapult her into the spotlight. Gwyneth Paltrow, Karl Lagerfeld, and a bunch of other cool people in entertainment and fashion co signed her. She had a line saying “I guess that cunt’s gettin eaten” and people lost it. She was so bold and had zero fucks to give! How refreshing! The gays of course, LIVED for her and the fashion moment visuals she dropped. What could possibly go wrong? Well, she started talking… Ugh.

Fast forward to today where most people couldn’t name more than “212” but they can name off the bullshit that has surrounded her. Fights on Twitter with Rihanna, Iggy Azalea, and Sia? Check! Yes, I meant, THAT Sia. Who TF fights with Sia? Fighting with a flight attendants and calling him a slur? Check! Getting banned from Twitter for more hate speech against a former boy band member? YUP! Endorsing Trump AND bleaching her skin? Oh you betcha! Getting into it with RZA and Russel Crowe? (how fucking random?) Duh.com!

What kills me is that she is actually seems pretty smart. I remember watching an interview where she explained her issue with Iggy came from the idea that it was okay for White people to steal Black culture and repackage it as their own. It only reinforced the idea of something not being cool or acceptable until someone white finally does it. (I SEE YOU, ELVIS!) She was well spoken and very passionate about her argument. I just get frustrated seeing someone so smart just kind of lose all credibility with the stunts and the shows. I don’t know if she has some sort of mental illness or if she’s just the literal worst, BUT I’m trying to cut her some slack. I mean, after all, 212 is still pretty fire six years later.

BHM Day 8: Teyana Taylor

I used to be OBSESSED with the MTV show “My Super Sweet Sixteen”. I watched most of the episodes and loved/hated the spoiled brats they’d feature weekly. It was this show that introduced me to Teyana Taylor. I remember her episode because instead of wanting a stunty car, she really wanted a bike. Oh, and on top of that she was down with Pharrell. She gave me super New York/tom boy vibes and she was refreshing as hell. Not too long after her show, she began dropping music. Sadly no one was really there to pick it up or give a damn. (please note: I don’t care what you say, “Google Me” was kind of genius and I will fight you over this.)



Teyana kind of disappeared for a minute. I saw she parted ways with her music label and went the indie route. She made some minor waves with her mixtapes (maybe they were albums? I can’t tell the difference anymore..) and ultimately ended up signing with Kanye’s G.O.O.D Music. Yay! He was killing it and signing the best talent, she was bound to be a hit with a larger audience, right? She was on the opening track to “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy” and that made me think “Ok, Kanye is getting her name out so she can drop her own material.” WRONG. Teyana was also featured on the opening of G.O.O.D. Music’s compilation “Cruel Summer” I started getting the feeling that Teyana was signed just so Ye would have someone to sing a good hook.

Jumping ahead past an album release and a baby, Teyana starred in the video for “Fade”. THe video was her dancing around in very little, but it kept it all very artistic. Her body was banging and soon after she had the likes of “Vogue” being obsessed with her. She even landed a highly coveted (girl, I guess?) role on VH1’s Divas Live Christmas Special. Things are definitely looking up for Teyana and I’m curious to see what she does with all of this newfound exposure. I mean, the girl can sing, dance, write, AND take a bomb ass photo. Plus, any girl that can come out of a Rihanna feud with her edges in tact deserves the BHM spotlight. Brava, sis!