You Can Pay for School

BUT YOU CANNOT BUY CLASS! Y'all like that one, don't cha? I would love to take credit for that one, but that one comes courtesy of Jay Z. That quote is pretty awesome and it actually came into play yesterday.
So this week marks the beginning of the fall semester. I recently began taking classes at UCF (Orlando has a Univsersity, y'all. Who would have known?!) and was all good to go. During a mass group registration, I signed up for Bio II, Chem II and Immunology. I went to class on Monday and Bio and Chem both seemed uber familar. I checked my transcript and realised that I had taken classes fairly similar to those at Uof Illinois. Awesome, right? WRONG. Yesterday I had to print up course descriptions, take them to my advisor and have him put in some paper in hopes of me getting credit for them. Then, I dropped those two classes, leaving me with 3 credit hours this semester. I was told to try to take physiology. Easy right? NO

I'll save you all the details, but here was my day in a nutshell:
-Ian logs on and tries to register, but cannot as the university has not yet ackknowledged his taking bio I and chem I.
-Ian goes to the science office and is told to go across campus to another office
*repeat this step about 15x Oh, and make sure it's literally 105 f'ing degrees outside.

Needless to say when I got to my final and correct destination, I was hot, sweaty and NOT pleased. The girl was like "So have you taken bio and chem I?" so I give her a recap and tell her what my advisor tells me to tell her. She then gives a snide laugh and is like "umm, I just needed to know if you took bio and chem" *giggles again* She is lucky that I was suffering from sunstroke and exhaustion at that point and couldn't sass her immediately. Instead I gave her my famous Renee Zelwegger "it hurts to smile" smile that I give to people when I want them to see that even though I'm smiling I'm saying "die bitch, die!" on the inside. I met with an advisor who yelled at me for registering last minute and lectured me about how little time we had (there was 1 spot left in the class at the time) I'm thinking "shut the hell up and type!" Luckily, I remembered that I needed this woman and I kept it classy. Whenever I felt myself reaching for my 'berry so I could throw it at her, I remembered two things:
1.) I need her to get into this class
2.) this phone isn't paid for yet
3.) This broad was fiesty and wouldn't hesitate to cut your boy (i know it's three, but whatever.)

I left campus feeling burnt out, annoyed and moist (not in the good way) I went to my brother and sister in law's house and hung out for awhile. I held my niece, KoKo Lee. My sister in law made me hold her. I am terrified of holding babies as I fear that I'll drop them. I did alright though. She smiled. She cried. She pooped. It felt like the rest of the world was pooping on me, so why shouldn't she. Well she didn't actually do it on me, I was just holding her while she did the do, but still you get my dramatic point.

Loving Her Long Time

Ok, so the other day on MTV.com, I was reading/watching this story about Mariah Carey and they were talking about whether or not her song "I'll Be Loving You Long Time" is offensive to Asians. The story was whatever and featured an overly dramatic Margaret Cho, but it got me thinking about how ridiculous Mariah is. Now don't get me wrong, I mean "ridiculous" in the best possible way. I think she's pretty f'ing amazing. The other day I was talking to someone who's identity I shall protect (ok, it was Luis) and he said that he hated Mariah. He called her a bitch. I then defended her and said "she's a crazy bitch, but she is no bitch!" You F with MiMI, you F with E-E (me) Ok, so I went to FourFour and found this clip of someone who gets Mariah's craziness as much as I do. Viva la diva loca!

Super Freak!

I would like to share a true story from my life:

On Saturday, I was off and my roomate's parents came by to help her clean up the place a bit. (yay for cleaning) I left and went to the gym in an attempt to get it tight(er) and right(er). When I came back I talked to my roomate's parents and they left a little while after that. At that time, my roomate, told me a story about an awkward situation that occurred when cleaning out her closet:

So apparently my roomate, like every red blooded American, has things in her closet that a parent need not see. She went into the closet and made sure she hid such things before her mom came to help her clean. One of these items happened to have been a bright green strip of about 5 or six condoms. This was placed behind a laundry basket that was sure to remain untouched. Wrong. My roomate's mother moved the basket to organise the closet and my roomate saw the strip of condoms and immediately said that they were mine. She didn't name our other roomate that just moved out and who is dead to us, but me! She alleged that I gave her the condoms to hide from my boo. (at the time of publication I am VERY single) So this leads to two possible assumptions:

1.) I am a freaky man whore who is trying to hide his shady activities
2.) I buy condoms but instead of using them, I hide them in the closet next door

I was totally kidding about making "Freak Like Me" my theme song. I'm not even like that. I haven't had a need for condoms since like the 80s. It matters not, as my roomate's mother probably only sees me as some Rick James super freak now. Awesome. I get all the stigma of being busy without the benefits.

Double Side Eye!

Ok, so I know that I am straight jacking Crunk and Disorderly's idea of the side eye photos, but I cannot resist. I found this awesome picture from the night that we went out to celebrate Mike's (aka Little Number)birthday. He wasn't there, so I drank for him. Please notice that I am giving SOMEONE who shall not be named a look that screams "Why are you touching me? I'm TRYING to enjoy my drank!" Oh it doesn't end there, y'all, as Luis is serving up his own serving of side eye. Between the two of us, we got the whole dance floor covered. Scott, meanwhile is staring into the camera/our souls. Deep. Real Deep.

It's Official

I officially don't hate Cassie.
So when Cassie's song "Official Girl" leaked a few months back, I was like "Is she still trying to sang? Does she not understand the concept of One Hit Wonder?" (Ok, I'm kinda frontin' I actually liked the leaked tracks "Turn the Lights Off" and "In Love with the DJ") The track is interesting thanks to Danja and after listening to the song a few times, I actually noticed the lyrics. The Clutch wrote this song and I love almost everything they write.
Anyway, The video just came out a few days ago and I have to admit that the song is growing on me. She looks blazing in it. Cassie's been getting flack for rocking that Aaliyah vibe (see: bikini tops, pants, leather, sunglasses, long hair) I don't think she's that dumb. I think she's just trying to show off as much skin as possible to distract us from her singing. It's not that it's bad...it just isn't good. Lil Wayne is on the track too, which for me is whatever. I think we need to see other people for a minute and let our relationship breathe. His ass is everywhere. Sit down and drink a Snapple Weezy.

Throwback Joint: Up Jumps Da Boogie

Today's throwback joint comes from a time a long, long time ago (1997) when things were very different.

-Aaliyah was alive and setting the trends that broads today are trying to jack (I see you Cassie!)

-Missy was thick and rocking Finga Waves for days. I love her verse in this song. "I hang low like testicles" Really, who says that?

-Timbaland wasn't as ummm, familiar with the steroids back then.

Anyway, enjoy

Side Eye!

Ok, so I have been a fan of the blog Crunk and Disorderly for quite some time now. It's like Perez Hilton, but for black folks. One feature on there is "Side-Eye Fever" It has photos of celebs and everyday people giving side eyes. What is a side eye you ask? Look at the above photo of the latest addition to my family, Miss KoKo Lee. (No that ain't her government name, but that's what I'm calling her) Notice the look of "I don't know you! Why are you so damn close to me?! Back up, son!" That, boys and girl is a side eye. If you're ever bored and want a laugh, check out this site:

http://side-eye-fever.crunktastical.net/