SO how did I not remember that tonight was Grammy night? My boss told me and I instantly felt so lame. I have two exams tomorrow and have been studying my ass off. I received a text from my friend Jared say "Are you watching this?!" I said "No, on DVR delay, as I hate commcericals" Jared then told me that WHITNEY "I LOVE YOU BOBBAY BROWN!" HouSTON was on the Grammy's. My studies were put on hold and I turned on the TV with a quickness.
I watched U2 and I was waiting to see Whtiney. U2 was alright, but Bono kept on doing this odd Captain Morgan leg thing. It was alarming. Whitney came out looking really good. She had on a new wig (it was on straight too, y'all!! Big ups!), her lips were bussin' and her fun bags looked like the were about to bubble over at any given moment. I was NOT mad. Whitney can clean up nicely, but the trick is to see what she says. She started off normal, but then launched into crazy and flashed her leg. That's what I tuned in for (and why I'll probably fail Organic Chem AND physics). She looked like she was high on umm, life? Hell, if anyone can tell me where I can buy some "life" like that, I'd be willing to pay top dollar for it. She talked about Clive Davis getting another lifetime icon/you the best ever award. Does he get one like EVERY show? I swear. She then went on to present Jennifer Hudson with best R&B album. After talking to my sister, I have realised that I am not looking too much into Whitney's appearance. She was like "Why were her eyes so squinty?" My sister apparently knows a thing or seven about wearing fake lashes and know they can be heavy but says there's no excuse for Whit. She also pointed out how it looked like Whit was about to fall the fuck over when she opened that envelope. I love that my sister validates me.
I am shocked Jennifer won. I really liked Al Green's album and Raphael's album is decent (I just got it from the library. FOR FREE. We's in a recession, leave me alone) Jennifer looked really pretty, but her dress made me think of one of those oversized bibs or napkins, one might wear if dining on lobster. She gave an emotional speech. It's always nice to see people who aren't jaded and who seem genuinely excited about getting an award.
Al Green performed, but not before The Rock (I am NOT calling his ass Dwayne) and JT gave really boring, unfunny introductions. Just when I was starting to think JT was funny he had to go and pull this BS. JT, sit down!
Coldplay (wait, aren't there more members other than Chris Martin?) performed with Jay Z. Jay made a Bobby reference. I can't turn this ish off now. I would have been ok dying had Whitney yelled out "BOBBBAAyyy!!" but alas, she didn't. I guess I live to die another day. Oh, Chris is singing with the other dudes now. He's so Beyonce--do your own thing and go back to the less famous bandmates when YOU are ready to do so.
Carrie Underwood- I am NOT mad. She has come into her own as a performer. She seems a lot more comfortable. She looks banging and her songs seems like it'd be fun to sing in a bar after a few drinks. I am not really paying attention but it sounds like a song about going out and getting smashed and not quite remembering what you did. Carrie, stop narrating my life!
I think "Sugarland" sounds sexual. It may be my new phrase of the week.
example: "He was all up in your sugarland!" or "You can't get all up in my sugarland. The park is closed! My goodies stay in the jar"
Miley Cyrus AND Taylor Swift?! Am I dying? Are people afraid to tell me? MY wildest dreams are coming true tonight! Maybe I should go play the lottery.
Does Alison Krauss get a Grammy every year? I have no idea who she is, but year after year she is nomiated and winning awards. She probably has like am million by now and probably regifts them.
Jennifer Hudson is singing a capella. That's ballsy. She brought out a black choir! I wish I had a choir that would follow me around. Jennifer did a really good job. She has really grown on me.
I still don't get the whole appeal of the Jonas brothers. They are like Maroon 5 lite. I don't mean that in a good way. I guess if Stevie Wonder will perform with them, I can't hate too much. Out of respect for Stevie, I'mma keep it moving...
I have to wonder what is going on in Katy Perry's head while she sings "I Kissed a Girl" Is it like ""Fuck, this song made me a ton of money, but I am over it..." is it "No one wil ever take me seriously now..." I am just curious. I am also curious about her shoes. Is she wearing flat shoes? If Tina Turner's 70 year old ass can still do Proud Mary in heels, you can bop around in something more than flats. Thanks.
Kanye's hair is killing me. I get the whole 80s influence, but he's looking like an extra from Saved by the Bell. (once again, not a compliment)
MIAs belly is ridiculous. It looks fake. I am really upset that she popped her coochie while pregnant. Mama, sit down! That's how your ass got in this predicament in the first place! I think she's going to be a fun mom. She may steal your ipod and your weed, but she'd be fun.
OK, I was bored with everything that was going on, so I went back to homework. I was shocked back to reality when Samuel L Jackson came on the TV and started yelling at me. Why is he so aggressive? Have I wronged him? Why does he always yell? I don't get it. Sam introduced his "good friend" JT. JT sang with TI and it was alright. Tons and tons of raw emotions and people beating on buckets. The song is not my favourite, but whatever. I am sure I'll love it after I am forced to listen to it over and over again. Throw in a remix and a video and it'll be my ringtone in no time!
Lil Wayne brought Robin Thicke. I am glad that I kept on watching. I love me some Robin Thicke. Who knew a Canadian could have so much soul? Certainly not me. Weezy's performance has me all sorts of excited for Mardi Gras. Wayne didn't win album of the year and I'm not too shocked. Maybe next year he should team up with Alison Krauss. Just a suggestion.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Throwback Joints: Erykah Badu Edition
Congrats to Erykah for having a baby. I heard that she blogged about the birthing process real time via Twitter. Eww. I heard she named the unfortunate sould Twitty Milk. At any rate, I have fallen in love with her all over again. The first video I'm posting is "Bag Lady" I LOVE THIS SONG. I know too many bag ladies and hope that I never become of them.
This second clip is "Tyrone" I have recently dusted off this phrase and thought now would be a good time to post the video.
This second clip is "Tyrone" I have recently dusted off this phrase and thought now would be a good time to post the video.
Throwback Joint: Oops (Oh My)
Today's throwback joint is broken up into two parts. The idea came from Erykah Badu allegedly (lawd, I hope it's just a horrible horrible internet rumour, but i doubt it) naming her child Twitty Milk. After a few comments back on forth on facebook, Tweet's name came up and I thought "what happened to her ass?" I really did like her. "Smoking Cigarettes" is such a good song. Anyway, here is the video that kicked it all off:
P.S. How cool does that ice hotel look? I would LOVE to go to one of those.
P.S. How cool does that ice hotel look? I would LOVE to go to one of those.
Friday, January 30, 2009
New Music: Lions, Tigers & Bears
Find more videos like this on The Hype Factor
So this song isn't necessarily new, but the video is. it's no secret that I LOVe Jazmine Sullivan and she has gotten me through some of my cuntiest and most dramatical moments. The video is full of some emotion and I, for one, am happy to see the return of the Mariah carey slow motion walk/sing effect in vidoes. Enjoy!
God Don't LIke Ugly
Ok,
so yesterday I took a really difficult exam. I mean, the teacher was asking questions about things not in the book. I left feeling relieved to have finished the exam, but a little anxious as I didn't think I did all that well. So, I am walking from my class to the parking garage when I see something that made me stop and smile. It was a license plate that read "I love my kitty!" or something lame like that. I had to laugh out loud. I imagined some old lady behind the wheel rocking a sweatshirt with a cat on it. Much to my chagrin, it was a man. There I was, feeling sorry for this "cat lady" and it turned out to be a MAN. All I could think was "HOW DREADFUL!" (that's compliments of Dwight from ATL Housewives) Since my mind tends to run with things, I instantly imagined his home life. He looked fairly normal, so I assumed he was probably made to put that plate on his car by his cat loving wife. Maybe his partner made him do it, as I don't know many straight men who proclaim their love for cats. At any rate, I just imagined how sad he must be that he has to drive around proclaiming his love for cats while people like me just giggled and made up stories about his life.
I made it to the garage, having forgotten about my test. I hate the UCF garage only because parking sucks and people literally stalk you when you walk to your car. People have offered me rides. Stranger danger! So I'm walking and my car is in sight. A car is stalking me, but I don't let it bother me. I am in full out strut mode and I'm in my own world..and then BAM! I trip over a freaking parking median! Seeing as how it happened a few minutes after me thinking not so nice thoughts, I figured it had to have been Karma acting with a quickness.
Sadly, I do not think Karma is done with me. Today after leaving a long ass physics lab, where I was assaualted by TWO different people with harsh breath, I stopped at the Union to pee. Before leaving, I checked myself out and thought "good job Ian. way to give a damn. You had class at 8:30am but still look presentable" After leaving the bathroom I felt everyone's eyes on me. I chalked it up to Chip & Pepper holding up their part of our agreement: I pay waaay too much for your jeans and in turn, you get me the attention I crave. Sadly, it took me a march through the busiest parts of campus to realise my zipper was down. Not just coming down, but way the F down. LIke my turkey timer could have popped out and made an appearance at any given time. All I cold think was "Thank the lawd, I wore drawers today..."
Here's to hoping someone saw me and laughed at my my faux pas. Oh, yeah, and here's to them tripping and not looking nearly as cool as I did when it happened.
so yesterday I took a really difficult exam. I mean, the teacher was asking questions about things not in the book. I left feeling relieved to have finished the exam, but a little anxious as I didn't think I did all that well. So, I am walking from my class to the parking garage when I see something that made me stop and smile. It was a license plate that read "I love my kitty!" or something lame like that. I had to laugh out loud. I imagined some old lady behind the wheel rocking a sweatshirt with a cat on it. Much to my chagrin, it was a man. There I was, feeling sorry for this "cat lady" and it turned out to be a MAN. All I could think was "HOW DREADFUL!" (that's compliments of Dwight from ATL Housewives) Since my mind tends to run with things, I instantly imagined his home life. He looked fairly normal, so I assumed he was probably made to put that plate on his car by his cat loving wife. Maybe his partner made him do it, as I don't know many straight men who proclaim their love for cats. At any rate, I just imagined how sad he must be that he has to drive around proclaiming his love for cats while people like me just giggled and made up stories about his life.
I made it to the garage, having forgotten about my test. I hate the UCF garage only because parking sucks and people literally stalk you when you walk to your car. People have offered me rides. Stranger danger! So I'm walking and my car is in sight. A car is stalking me, but I don't let it bother me. I am in full out strut mode and I'm in my own world..and then BAM! I trip over a freaking parking median! Seeing as how it happened a few minutes after me thinking not so nice thoughts, I figured it had to have been Karma acting with a quickness.
Sadly, I do not think Karma is done with me. Today after leaving a long ass physics lab, where I was assaualted by TWO different people with harsh breath, I stopped at the Union to pee. Before leaving, I checked myself out and thought "good job Ian. way to give a damn. You had class at 8:30am but still look presentable" After leaving the bathroom I felt everyone's eyes on me. I chalked it up to Chip & Pepper holding up their part of our agreement: I pay waaay too much for your jeans and in turn, you get me the attention I crave. Sadly, it took me a march through the busiest parts of campus to realise my zipper was down. Not just coming down, but way the F down. LIke my turkey timer could have popped out and made an appearance at any given time. All I cold think was "Thank the lawd, I wore drawers today..."
Here's to hoping someone saw me and laughed at my my faux pas. Oh, yeah, and here's to them tripping and not looking nearly as cool as I did when it happened.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Throwback Joint: Party All the Time
This video come to us courtesy of Eddie Murphy. The year was 1985. Ian was years old. Reagan was president and Eddie had his love of trannies on the downlow.
I have to give Eddie the credit. He was the original J. Lo. He stepped up and said "Hey, I don't suck THAT much and I'm famous...lemme make a record" J Lo. had Diddy at her side, while Eddie had Rick James. I'm not sure who is the winner of the two, so I'll have to get back at you. I must remark that I am feeling Rick James' hair. Now I know where Remy Ma jacked her style!
I have to give Eddie the credit. He was the original J. Lo. He stepped up and said "Hey, I don't suck THAT much and I'm famous...lemme make a record" J Lo. had Diddy at her side, while Eddie had Rick James. I'm not sure who is the winner of the two, so I'll have to get back at you. I must remark that I am feeling Rick James' hair. Now I know where Remy Ma jacked her style!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Why I Love the Holidays: Music Edition
One might think that hearing Christmas music 2.5 months would be annoying. They would be right. The thing that's good about Christmas music is that people rarely come out with new songs. You always know the song whether it's Christina, Bing Crosby or Beyonce and Friends singing it. The thing that's bad about Christmas music is that people rarely come out with new songs. i have worked for the same retail company for 7 years and the songs are basically the same from year to year. Here are some songs that I love for Christmas:
"Last Christmas"- Wham! I love this song because it's super sad for the holidays. But at least it's honest. This is the time of year when broke asses dump you so they don't have to buy you a present. I'm not bitter, but let's just move on. Jimmy Eat World also has a good version of this song
Anything by Christina Aguilera: She put out a CD like right after she came out. She was still white and pop princess-y. She also felt the need to belt out every note. Each song is littered with melismas and vocal runs. It's pretty funny how a simple song like "This Christmas" gets turned into a 25 minute long song full of cunty dramaticalness. I like the dance remix to "The Christmas Song" Another good song is "This Year" it's Christmas, yet it's a song you could knock boots to. I guess she's always been a little dirrty. We like that about her.
"This Christmas"-Donny Hathaway. This song is such a standard. I love it and it makes me feel all warm and toasty inside (oh wait, thats the egg nog) People seem to like Macy Gray's version, but I cannot endorse it.
"Santa Baby"-Ertha Kitt. I love how she purrs through the song. It's super sexy and superficial--it totally screams Christmas! Kylie Minogue has a pretty sexual version that is worth checking out.
8 Days of Christmas-Destiny's Child. I LOVE this song. It's pretty modern (2000, i think?) and is full of superficial desires paired off with things that are from the heart. (ie a pair of chloe shades and a diamond belly ring vs a gift certificate to get my favourite CD) The song doesn't stray from the fast delivery and sass that DC made their trademark and I like it when people remain true to who they are (see: xtina whoring up christmas tunes)
"All I Want for Christmas is You"-Mariah Carey. THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SONG. I think it just signals Christmas for me. It puts me in a good mood from the jump. Her whole Christmas CD is filled with really good Christmas songs. I like this version of the video because she reminds me of my mom from way back when here. It's my site, so I'll post whatever version I please. If you don't like it, feel free to send an email to idontgiveawhat@biteme.com
When is Amy Winehouse's holiday album dropping? I imagine her talking about doing blow with santa or punching Mrs. Claus in the face. I'll go ahead and cross my fingers for a 2009 release date.
"Last Christmas"- Wham! I love this song because it's super sad for the holidays. But at least it's honest. This is the time of year when broke asses dump you so they don't have to buy you a present. I'm not bitter, but let's just move on. Jimmy Eat World also has a good version of this song
Anything by Christina Aguilera: She put out a CD like right after she came out. She was still white and pop princess-y. She also felt the need to belt out every note. Each song is littered with melismas and vocal runs. It's pretty funny how a simple song like "This Christmas" gets turned into a 25 minute long song full of cunty dramaticalness. I like the dance remix to "The Christmas Song" Another good song is "This Year" it's Christmas, yet it's a song you could knock boots to. I guess she's always been a little dirrty. We like that about her.
"This Christmas"-Donny Hathaway. This song is such a standard. I love it and it makes me feel all warm and toasty inside (oh wait, thats the egg nog) People seem to like Macy Gray's version, but I cannot endorse it.
"Santa Baby"-Ertha Kitt. I love how she purrs through the song. It's super sexy and superficial--it totally screams Christmas! Kylie Minogue has a pretty sexual version that is worth checking out.
8 Days of Christmas-Destiny's Child. I LOVE this song. It's pretty modern (2000, i think?) and is full of superficial desires paired off with things that are from the heart. (ie a pair of chloe shades and a diamond belly ring vs a gift certificate to get my favourite CD) The song doesn't stray from the fast delivery and sass that DC made their trademark and I like it when people remain true to who they are (see: xtina whoring up christmas tunes)
"All I Want for Christmas is You"-Mariah Carey. THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SONG. I think it just signals Christmas for me. It puts me in a good mood from the jump. Her whole Christmas CD is filled with really good Christmas songs. I like this version of the video because she reminds me of my mom from way back when here. It's my site, so I'll post whatever version I please. If you don't like it, feel free to send an email to idontgiveawhat@biteme.com
When is Amy Winehouse's holiday album dropping? I imagine her talking about doing blow with santa or punching Mrs. Claus in the face. I'll go ahead and cross my fingers for a 2009 release date.
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