Album Review: Kanye West: Yeezus

I am a huge Kanye fan. I have liked him from the jump and have always thought he was a great artist. I have respected his work and have been able to differentiate between his offstage antics and his work. With that being said, I am still able to be critical. I have lived with his new album for a few days now and these are some thoughts of “Yeezus”

On sight: The album starts out with an almost cacophonic sounding track. It’s jarring and a bit different sound. This track sets the stage for the rest of the album. Don’t expect to hear anything like what you’ve heard from the radio

Black Skinhead: The track has a great track with awesome drums. It ends up being a lush soundscape but it’s not the typical Kanye sound that we’ve been accustomed to. Funny enough it has a bit of the same swing as Christina Aguilera’s “I hate Boys” Ye’s delivery is rapid fire and aggressive. He ends it repeating “God” and sounding very Napoleon Dynamite.
I am a God: This track is just ridiculous. Play it on good headphones and you will appreciate it so much more. I think the second verse pales in comparison to the first. I like the song but think he could have taken it further. The track has screams and heavy breathing. Kanye, you stunt queen, you!

New Slaves: I like how the track starts out super stripped down (well for Kanye) so you can focus on his powerful words. I think lyrically this is where I like Kanye. I like when he’s talking about something a bit deeper over a banging beat. I kind of wish he brought this same lyricism to “I am a God”

Hold My Liquor: This track gives us time to pause. It is one of the more melodic, chill tracks. Maybe a bit of a throwback to his 808s album?

I’m in It: This track starts is weird in that it is minimalistic, yet has this bounce to it. Did he just say “put my first in her like a civil rights sign”? Umm, eww.

Blood on the Leaves: I love the sample used reminds me of Monica’s “IF you were the Girl” This song goes hard and might just fuck up your speakers. This is a standout track for me. It has the banging track and fun, quotable lyrics

Guilt Trip: I love this track as it has an almost ethereal feel to it. I think Kid Cudi was a good choice to guest on this.

Send it Up: There’s pretty much an alarm going off in the background of this song the whole time yet it’s not annoying. “We can send this bitch up it can’t go down” is as close to a hook as you are really going to get on this album.

Bound 2: This has the feeling of an old Kanye track. This time around, it still feels a bit more stripped down than old Ye. It has an old school sounding sample which is what became Kanye’s signature.


So after hearing this album about times now I am still hearing new things that I haven’t heard before. I LOVE that. It’s different and far from radio friendly. Typically I like songs that I can sing along to or be in a club yelling along drunkenly to. Yeezus doesn’t really give us that. Instead, it gives us something a bit more forward thinking and artistic. I say artistic, not because I think this is Kanye at his lyrical best. I say it because he is doing what artists should do: create art that makes them happy and that they think makes the world a more interesting place. Kanye’s sound is evolving to something that feels a bit more minimalistic than we are accustomed to. I suppose it is a nice balance to a man whose personality and ego continue to grow more and more over the tp. Overall, I think this is a great effort that is well produced and feels cohesive. It should be interesting to see how it is received by the masses.

Dates from Hell: How to NOT Have a One Night Stand

I’m sure that by now you all know the saying “The straw that broke the camel’s back” If you don’t then you are dumb. Real dumb. Anyway, in my experience I have found it to be more like “The shot that made me make poor life choices” I know I’m not the only one who has been out having a normal night out of fun and then that one drink/shot comes around and things go left. Like ALL the way left. Then you wake up pantless at 3:30a with Mariah Carey blasting on your stereo. Is that just me? Whatever. You just don’t want to admit to it. Thankfully my girl, Rebecca* has no trouble keeping it real with me. (even when it’s REAL messy)

So Rebecca is a 30 something woman who is kind of new to a major metropolitan city. She is on the fast track at work and things are looking up for her career wise. Now she is able to focus on building up her social life. So this past weekend, after work Rebecca goes out with her girlfriend and her gay friend. They are having drinks and enjoying one another’s company when Rebecca sees this cool phone and asks this guy about it. This leads them talking and flirting. Apparently the guy ends up being hot as hell and from South America. See, when I talk to strangers in a bar about something they have that I like, they end up being creepy and very local. Anyway, Rebecca was about to wrap up the conversation after the hot South American, who I shall call Alejandro from now on, mentioned his girlfriend back home.
Thankfully for the purpose of this story, the girlfriend and gay friend weren’t trying to let the fun stop, so they ordered a ridiculously oversized drink for Rebecca and Alejandro to share and the night started to heat up. They ended up going to a gay bar and having fun. They danced the night away and at some point someone thought it’d be a great idea to go a tequila bar for shots. This tequila shot was the final straw.
The two wing people went their separate ways, leaving Rebecca and Alejandro alone. By this point the gf back home was forgotten and the couple was on their way to Alejandro’s hotel. They were about to do what two drunk, attractive adults are prone to do when Rebecca had that all too familiar rumbling. She got up and proceeded to pray to the porcelain gods. Unlike me, Rebecca is not trained in the ways of the ninja and didn’t plan an escape so she ended up washing her mouth out and sleeping over.
The next morning Alejandro had to leave because he had an early flight. That’s what Rebecca told me, but I’m guessing her didn’t want to sleep with a girl who puked. Those are just my zesty two cents. Anyway, so he got up and showered and she slept in a bit longer. This, ladies and gentleman is a rookie mistake. Why prolong your walk of shame? Get out before the sun comes up is my mantra that has gotten me this far. Anyway, Rebecca had a last bathroom stop before leaving the hotel and heading home.

It wasn’t until she got downstairs and the door was VERY locked, that she realized that she had left her key in the room on the dresser. Damn, Gina! At this point Rebecca is over the whole situation. She puked and ruined her chance of getting with a hot South American and now she was locked out of her apartment. She walks up to the desk agent (mind you she still has on last night’s clothes and in my head she looks a hot ass mess) and explains that she met a guy in the bar last night and went home with him and now has her key in his room. The desk clerk is NOT discreet in the least (I mean, why be so for what could very well be a high priced call girl) and the next thing Rebecca knows, the whole world is hearing her business. They ask for Alejandro’s last name but Rebecca doesn’t know this, which makes it look even shadier! This, ladies and zestlemen, is why when you meet someone, you get his/her FULL name.

Rebecca ended up getting her key and went on her merry way. I’m guessing all of this foolishness MIGHT have been avoided if people had said a simple “no” to the idea of taking shots of tequila after a long night of drinking. You can take this however you choose. Some may just avoid the tequila. I say that it should be embraced, just be mindful of where you put your keys and get a last name. I mean really, only hookers don’t ask last names.

*names have been changed to protect the busy and whorey.

Album Review: Kelly Rowland: Talk a Good Game

So I really thought that Beyonce would have had an album by now. Hell even a single would have been nice. I never would have guessed that Kelly and Michelle are dropping new music before a Beyonce who is on tour. Anyway, it’s pretty bogus to start a review of Kelly Rowland’s new album by talking about someone whose shadow she seems to be placed in frequently. My bad.

Ok, so when Kelly first started dropping singles I got nervous. Her last album didn’t burn up charts the way people thought after her hot single, “Motivation” Her follow up single was “Ice” which followed the same formula as “Motivation” even down to the Lil Wayne cameo. Her dates kept on getting pushed around and she didn’t even have a title. I seriously thought she was on some Ciara foolishness. Kelly didn’t give up and just chugged along with her next single “Kisses Down Low” She even made a video for it, but the song didn’t do anything. Oh shit. Next up was “Dirty Laundry” which got a LOT of attention. It chronicled her domestic abuse as well resentment for Bey. It was pretty deep and got people talking about her. Shortly afterwards, she signed up to be on X Factor and announced a release date.

Some thoughts on Kelendria’s “Talk a Good Game”

Freak: I like the way the album starts out. The track is sexy and slinky. Kelly sings “Everybody’s somebody’s freak” I never really thought of it. Thanks, girl!
Kisses Down Low: This was produced by Mike Will made it, who is the it producer right. He did Rihana’s “Pour It Up” and Miley’s “ We can’t stop”, both of which are doing well on the charts. This song actually had to grow on me. It’s a cute song and is about oral sex. Why I wasn’t on board to begin with is beyond me.

Gone: This song features Wiz Khalifa and sample Joni Mitchell. The song is basically telling someone to piss off. I love a good break up joint and I like it even more when it has a bit of knock to it. The best line of the song “You’re dinner waiting down the street, and you can have it your way” It just makes me laugh that she’s sending his ass to BK for dinner. Wiz delivers a forgettable rap and still sounds high as hell.

Talk a Good Game: The song is sexy and in a great groove and then Kevin Cossom comes through and it gets a bit more crunk. I’m still undecided how I feel about his feature on this. I also hate that she says “mines”

Down on Love: the lyrics are in line with the title. It’s a standard breakup song but I like the breezy feel the track has.


Dirty Laundry: The track sounds like a 90s throwback to R Kelly or one of his protégés like Sparkle. The lyrics feel deeply personal which is odd since she didn’t even write the song. (The Dream did) I like the honesty of the song. I have always wondered how it felt to be a victim of Beyonceitis and it’s great to get a glimpse of that life.

You Changed: After airing her dirty laundry, she brings Beyonce and Michelle on this track. It kind of sounds like the track “Girl” from Destiny Fulfilled. This feels like three artists on a track, not Destiny’s Child. Yet again Kelly graces us with a kiss my ass and then kick rocks track.

I Remember: This is a light track that makes me think of Drake’s “Take Care” for some reason.

Red Wine: This song sounds like a 90s throwback. Usually I’d mean that as a good thing, but this is pretty unremarkable. Not bad, just not great.

This is Love: This has a very Keri Hilson feel to it. I like Keri, so I like the delivery of the song.

Street Life: I LOVE this song. Pharrell isgiving us early 2000s Neptune’s sound. It’s funky and has a bunch of soul to it. Lyrically it’s not impressive. Here the track is the star and Kelly doesn’t get in the way of it.

Stand in Front of Me: This song sounds like it’s from a different era. She sounds sweet on it, but it kind of feels gimmicky.

Sky Walker: This song features The Dream and is a typical Dream slow jam. It has explicit lyrics and her sounding a bit nasal like he does at times. He does more of a rap than really sings.

Put Your Name on It: I like this slow jam and her vocals sound strong. This is a song that you can make babies to.
#1: Another breakup song. I like the lyrics “If I’m not your number one, then you better call number two” No one likes to be a back burner bitch and Kelly is singing a song reminding people of that fact! Finally.


Overall this is a solid R&B album. I don’t know if this is the best idea career wise as people aren’t really lining up to pay for R&B albums anymore. I have always liked her uptempo/dance tracks and thought she should stay in that lane. That way she could avoid the Beyonce comparisons and really stand out on her own. I do think that with “Talk a Good Game” Kelly can stand out. She seems to have finally found her lane in R&B. Now let’s see if people actually want to hear the sound upon which she has settled.

New Music: Mariah & Miguel : #Beautiful

Can we just PLEASE take a moment to discuss Mariah Carey’s new single #Beautiful. Typically I wouldn’t give in to using the hashtag, but it’s Mariah, Dahhling! I have to! Before it even dropped, people were saying that it was classic Mariah. I hate hearing a ton of buzz on a song before it drops as it usually kind of messes up the experience of just hearing it and making your own opinion regarding it. I got super nervous when she released a promo clip that featured a sparse guitar and creepy giggling.

It starts out with a simple guitar line. Miguel starts the song off. The track builds with more instruments and a lot of Mariah harmonies in the backround. Miguel gives an airy delivery that goes along perfectly with the track which feels breezy and summery to me.
Mariah comes in halfway into the song. I am glad to tell everyone that she is using her big girl voice and not whispering during her verses. She actually does a good job showcasingthe many facets of her voice. We get some head voice, some whistle register and some creepy giggling. Everyone can be happy and shut the hell up now!

The song is short and sweet coming in 3:22. I like that aspect of it. I hate when good songs overstay their welcome. I think Miguel was a wise choice. Yes, he’s having a moment now and people love him and his well layed hair, BUT vocally the two blend nicely. I was a bit concerned at why she would let Miguel start off the song. She let Rick Ross and Meek Mill do the same on her last single and it felt like she was a guest on her own song. It wasn’t until I gave it a few listens that I understood that Mariah is ALL over this track at any given moment. She is constantly harmonizing and ad libbing throughout. . To be honest, I didn’t notice it until this listen. They are subtle but add a lot of character to the track. Say what you want about Mariah (actually don’t. I don’t have space for non Lambs up in here. Be gone, hater!) but the woman knows music. She holds her own on the track as a true diva would.

I don’t know if radio will pick this up as it isn’t autotuned to death, talking about strippers or shitty. Either way, I think Mariah did right by us on this one, so I can’t be upset. Another number one to shut Nicki Minaj the hell up would be #beautiful though… (get it? It’s a play on the title of the song)

Album Review: The Great Gatsby Soundtrack

Ok, so I’m a bit embarrassed that I have never read The Great Gatsby. I like to fancy myself as cultured and shit, so one would naturally assume that I would be familiar with the story. You know that when you assume something you typically fuck it up. That’s not how the saying goes, but this is my blog so I do what I want.

Anyway, I am stoked for the movie after seeing the trailer. When I saw the lineup for the soundtrack I got a musical boner. Beyonce covering Amy Winehouse?! Emeli covering Beyonce?! A New Jay Z song? Just typing that made my heart skip; thank God I am sitting as I type this. I’ve got to live with the soundtrack for the better part of this morning and here is a quick rundown

100 $ Bill- Jay Z: The production kind of has a “Watch the Throne” vibe to it. There is a screwed sampl e on it which Jay and Bey seem to love these days. I like the song. Jay’s delivery is aggressive and has some great one liners.

Back to Black- Beyonce and Andre 3000: This is one of my all time favourite Amy WInehouse songs. I like to sit at home, drink wine with the lights off and sing along while thinking of past loves. Wait, that might have been too much info… Anyway, the song starts out with Andre half singing/talking over a sparse, pulsating beat. He actually does cool things with his delivery. Beyonce comes up next. She sings her part in a slinky fashion that one might not expect given her powerhouse vocals. I like it though, as sometimes restraint can show one’s talent just as much as screaming and doing a bunch of runs. Yes, I am talking to you, Xtina.

Bang Bang- will.i.am Leave it to Will to mash up some 20’s sounding music with his robo/fist pump sound that he has been loving as of late. I don’t know who the girl on the hook is, but she sounds like a discount version of Fergie. Hell, it might even be Fergie. The song, like most of his other works gets stuck in my head and I hate to enjoy it as much as I want. Apparently the song borrows HEAVILY from another song, Epic.

A Little Party Never Killed Nobody-Fergie, Q Tip, Goon Rock: This is a VERY LMFAO type track. Lyrically there isn’t much to it but Fergie repeating the song title. She sounds like she’s stuffed up and talking on a prison phone (not that I know firsthand) but the effect helps give the song an oldtime feel to it. Q Tip’s rap is forgettable. No, I literally forgot any comments I had about it. Oh well. I’m glad to have Fergie back.

Young and Beautiful- Lana Del Rey: This song is beautiful and she’s her characteristically eerie sounding self. The track is dramatic and fits her voice perfectly. It will haunt you for at least 48 seconds after it ends.

Love is the Drug-Brian Ferry and his orchestra: This song sounds like what I would expect for the soundtrack in a movie like The Great Gatsby. Not bad, but not something that I would probably want to listen to many times.

Over the Love-Florence + The Machine : Ok, so now it’s Flo’s turn to give her very own dramatic and haunting song. I think lyrically, her song is stronger than Lana’s, but that’s just my opinion. Her voice is stellar on this song.

Where the Wind Blows- Coco O. of Quadron: I’m not sure who Coco O. or what a Quadron is, but she has an interesting voice. It has a nasal, Amy WInehouse quality to it. She doesn’t sound like she hits the Jack and Marlboros nearly as much as Amy did. (Rest her soul) I haven’t decided whether the pounding on the piano that serves as bulk of the track is fun and bouncy or just fucking annoying.

Crazy in Love-Emeli Sande: OH YES SHE DID. Ballsy. I like her very much as an artist and I’m glad to see her getting shine. Her voice sounds good, but I really don’t get the same level of crazy that I get when Beyonce sings it. Fun remix that makes me want to do the Charleston. Note to self: Learn how to do the Charleston.

Together- The xx: Pretty track, I just wished the vocals weren’t so muddled. I have no idea what he is saying and I feel like an old grandma. “what?! What’s he saying?! Turn up the radio!!” If what he is saying is anything like what the girl says that I’m guessing it’s chock full of raw emotion cunty dramacality.

Hearts a Mess-Gotye: Very cool track that is VERY Gotye. If you like him you’ll like the song. If you don’ t like him then you’re not cool in the least.

Love is Blindness-Jack White: This man is hella talented. Allegedly. I don’t know as I didn’t really follow him that closely when he was a White Stripe and followed even less closely when he struck out solo. People seem to love him. I really do enjoy this track. His vocals and screaming really take the song over the top (in a good way) who knew that someone so sickly looking could have such a big voice?

Into the Past-Nero: I’m not a huge fan of this song. It feels a bit overproduced for my liking.

Kill and Run-Sia: It’s just Sia and a piano on this. Of course she comes with good lyrics and her signature vocals. Oh wait, I lied. Some sweeping strings have come in and have now propelled this song to even new heights of dramacality. I imagine Pink flying above the audience while singing a song like this.

I think overall the soundtrack is solid. I’m curious to see how all of these songs fit into the movie. If I’m not mistaken Jay Z produced this. His choice of artists shows that he knows some things. He could have done what people would expect from him, but he didn’t and it ends up working well for him. Now can he PLEASE tell wifey to drop that album before I have to raise my voice?! Kidding. I would never raise my voice to Beyonce as I fear the wrath of Solange and Mama Tina. Furthermore, you and I BOTH know Jay can’t tell Bey a DAMN thing. Who run the world?! Not you Jay. :(

Happy Birthday Mariah Carey!

So today is Mariah NoMiddlename Carey’s birthday. Well it’s technically her birthday, but she stopped celebrating those back in her twenties. I think now she just has festive anniversaries. I am celebrating by drinking. I am alone and it’s slightly trending towards alcoholism, but Mariah likes a flute or 7 of bubbly every once in awhile, so I thought I’d play the part. I was plum out of champagne, so I made myself a soju/shochu (it’s half the calories of vodka and Asian—I’m so fucking trendy) cocktail and took that shit to the head!

Tonight I want to just stop for a moment and give Mariah some credit. I don’t think people really remember what a musical force this woman is. She is one of the top selling artists of all time. ALL TIME people! She set records for the most number one singles by a solo artist. She was in “Precious” and wasn’t glamourous in the least. She has (had?) a 5 octave range and a whistle register that is NOT to be fucked with. Basically she’s a big deal. She’s not in a tizzy over the Beyonce song “Bow Down” as she understands that Bey is talking to basic bitches and haters, not to people that are actually important. Plus I’m certain that Mariah exists on her own planet and doesn’t great radio reception out there, so she’s probably never even heard the track.
I decided tonight to dust off her first big hit, “Vision of Love” and I watched the video. Her hair was kind of eh and she wore a basic black dress. Missing was the drama, fans and show for which the Mariah of today is known. I read some of the comments on Youtube and people were yearning for those days. Really? The woman could sing but she was really boring. She churned out hit after hit but that plain Jane, girl next door thing started to get a bit old.

Things got REAL interesting when she started to break from Tommy Mottola. Her dresses go shorter and her stilettos grew taller. Her hair got better and she basically started to fully own being a diva. The voice was there the whole time, now she had the attitude and confidence to go along with it. I started to really like her even more at this point. I think it might have been in reaction to the growing number of people who were upset that she was changing her look and sound. I have always been one to champion the cause of the underdog/forgotten/people with hella issues. Don’t believe me, check my volunteering record or the people I’ve dated.
We all know that Mariah had the fall RIGHT before September 11th. Coincidence? Probably. She managed to bounce back and have a huge album. Well not at first, but after the album Glitter and Charmbracelet, she stopped fucking around and put out The Emancipation of Mimi. It was and still is a really solid album.

Recently she has been on American Idol. I would like to talk about it, but I haven’t given a damn about that show since Kelly Clarkson. I know that she is probably amazing and throwing shade at Nicki whenever possible, so even I am shocked that I haven’t tuned in. Her body has been on point as of late (I attribute that to young penis) and she seems genuinely happy with her husband and twins. I know that she’s in the studio and I’m really excited to hear what she has to offer. Mariah is someone that I think is over the top and ridiculous. I think it’s a joke and that she doesn’t take herself that seriously. She is super talented and often misunderstood; this is why we are soul mates. Well that, and we both love to wave our hands around in slow motion.

I could really go on about Mariah for a few hundred more pages, but I won’t. I have to make another cocktail. I mean, it’s what Mariah would want. What Mariah wants, Mariah GETS.




Has anyone else ever noticed how she blinks to the beat around the 11 second mark? GENIUS.

New Music: Beyonce: "Bow Down/I Been On"

So late last year, Rihanna started selling tickets for her world tour. I didn’t buy tickets as it was a tour to support her unreleased album. I know I am a Rihanna fan, but what if I didn’t like the CD? Rih isn’t exactly known for dancing and performing as much as she is known for pouting, posing and pussy patting. I decided to pass and when I first heard “Unapologetic” I was glad I did. I have since grown to like the album, but I’m still not running out to buy overpriced tickets to see her.

Now, Beyonce went ahead and did the same damn thing. She performed at the Super Bowl and then announced a concert right after. She was allegedly going to premiere a new song but never did, leaving people in the dark about the new sound/direction of the CD. All she did was release a long commercial with her dressed all regal like and being fabulous to an eerie ass track that stayed with me for a long while after hearing it. Would you believe that I tried my damndest to buy tickets to see Beyonce perform what could amount to her worst CD ever? If you are shocked, then you clearly don’t know me. I would pay good money to hear that woman read my W-2 to me.

So yesterday Beyonce released some new music. I was starting to wonder what her plans were, as her tour kicks off in less than a month and she hadn’t released any music or videos. You know you are bad as hell when you can get people to pay a premium on blind faith. Beyonce made it clear with her last CD that she’s just gonna make the music she wants to and we will all have to deal with it. “Bow Down”/”I Been On” is unlike anything I’ve ever really heard from Bey. She is cussing and telling bitches to bow down. My heart leaps every single time that woman says a cuss word. She’s just being cocky. The beat sounds like it would have fit well on her husband’s “Watch the Throne” album (It was produced by the same producer of Niggas in Paris) and gets chopped and screwed. Apparently Justin and Beyonce are making it their goal to make chopped and screwed the hotness in mainstream music.

Is this track my all time fave? Nope. Am I excited by it? Hell yes. It’s different and I like to see people like Beyonce and Justin Timberlake step out of their comfort zones and try new things. I wish she would have sung on “I Been On” as that track is SICK. Then part of me thinks it’s kind of cool that she went left on that track. When I heard it, I thought she was going to go for another “Halo” or “Ava Maria” track but she married her operatic vocals in the backround to some grimey lyrics.
The rapping and shit talking will have people talking. Hell Keyshia Cole made it clear on Twitter that she isn’t a fan. She called Bey out for being “girls stick together!” one minute and being all “bow down bitches” the next. She has a point. I just don’t think it’s that good of one, but whatever. Everyone has an opinion, I just figured after Kelendria Rowland checked her for coming for Michelle Williams (the black one) she would have learned to keep her mouth shut. The Beyhive is NOT to be fucked with.

Did I really just write 600 words about ONE track? Damn I should probably invest this time and energy in learning a new language or something. Check out the song for yourself! Also can we just discuss the cover art?