Grammy Roundup

SO how did I not remember that tonight was Grammy night? My boss told me and I instantly felt so lame. I have two exams tomorrow and have been studying my ass off. I received a text from my friend Jared say "Are you watching this?!" I said "No, on DVR delay, as I hate commcericals" Jared then told me that WHITNEY "I LOVE YOU BOBBAY BROWN!" HouSTON was on the Grammy's. My studies were put on hold and I turned on the TV with a quickness.

I watched U2 and I was waiting to see Whtiney. U2 was alright, but Bono kept on doing this odd Captain Morgan leg thing. It was alarming. Whitney came out looking really good. She had on a new wig (it was on straight too, y'all!! Big ups!), her lips were bussin' and her fun bags looked like the were about to bubble over at any given moment. I was NOT mad. Whitney can clean up nicely, but the trick is to see what she says. She started off normal, but then launched into crazy and flashed her leg. That's what I tuned in for (and why I'll probably fail Organic Chem AND physics). She looked like she was high on umm, life? Hell, if anyone can tell me where I can buy some "life" like that, I'd be willing to pay top dollar for it. She talked about Clive Davis getting another lifetime icon/you the best ever award. Does he get one like EVERY show? I swear. She then went on to present Jennifer Hudson with best R&B album. After talking to my sister, I have realised that I am not looking too much into Whitney's appearance. She was like "Why were her eyes so squinty?" My sister apparently knows a thing or seven about wearing fake lashes and know they can be heavy but says there's no excuse for Whit. She also pointed out how it looked like Whit was about to fall the fuck over when she opened that envelope. I love that my sister validates me.

I am shocked Jennifer won. I really liked Al Green's album and Raphael's album is decent (I just got it from the library. FOR FREE. We's in a recession, leave me alone) Jennifer looked really pretty, but her dress made me think of one of those oversized bibs or napkins, one might wear if dining on lobster. She gave an emotional speech. It's always nice to see people who aren't jaded and who seem genuinely excited about getting an award.

Al Green performed, but not before The Rock (I am NOT calling his ass Dwayne) and JT gave really boring, unfunny introductions. Just when I was starting to think JT was funny he had to go and pull this BS. JT, sit down!

Coldplay (wait, aren't there more members other than Chris Martin?) performed with Jay Z. Jay made a Bobby reference. I can't turn this ish off now. I would have been ok dying had Whitney yelled out "BOBBBAAyyy!!" but alas, she didn't. I guess I live to die another day. Oh, Chris is singing with the other dudes now. He's so Beyonce--do your own thing and go back to the less famous bandmates when YOU are ready to do so.

Carrie Underwood- I am NOT mad. She has come into her own as a performer. She seems a lot more comfortable. She looks banging and her songs seems like it'd be fun to sing in a bar after a few drinks. I am not really paying attention but it sounds like a song about going out and getting smashed and not quite remembering what you did. Carrie, stop narrating my life!

I think "Sugarland" sounds sexual. It may be my new phrase of the week.
example: "He was all up in your sugarland!" or "You can't get all up in my sugarland. The park is closed! My goodies stay in the jar"

Miley Cyrus AND Taylor Swift?! Am I dying? Are people afraid to tell me? MY wildest dreams are coming true tonight! Maybe I should go play the lottery.

Does Alison Krauss get a Grammy every year? I have no idea who she is, but year after year she is nomiated and winning awards. She probably has like am million by now and probably regifts them.

Jennifer Hudson is singing a capella. That's ballsy. She brought out a black choir! I wish I had a choir that would follow me around. Jennifer did a really good job. She has really grown on me.

I still don't get the whole appeal of the Jonas brothers. They are like Maroon 5 lite. I don't mean that in a good way. I guess if Stevie Wonder will perform with them, I can't hate too much. Out of respect for Stevie, I'mma keep it moving...

I have to wonder what is going on in Katy Perry's head while she sings "I Kissed a Girl" Is it like ""Fuck, this song made me a ton of money, but I am over it..." is it "No one wil ever take me seriously now..." I am just curious. I am also curious about her shoes. Is she wearing flat shoes? If Tina Turner's 70 year old ass can still do Proud Mary in heels, you can bop around in something more than flats. Thanks.

Kanye's hair is killing me. I get the whole 80s influence, but he's looking like an extra from Saved by the Bell. (once again, not a compliment)

MIAs belly is ridiculous. It looks fake. I am really upset that she popped her coochie while pregnant. Mama, sit down! That's how your ass got in this predicament in the first place! I think she's going to be a fun mom. She may steal your ipod and your weed, but she'd be fun.

OK, I was bored with everything that was going on, so I went back to homework. I was shocked back to reality when Samuel L Jackson came on the TV and started yelling at me. Why is he so aggressive? Have I wronged him? Why does he always yell? I don't get it. Sam introduced his "good friend" JT. JT sang with TI and it was alright. Tons and tons of raw emotions and people beating on buckets. The song is not my favourite, but whatever. I am sure I'll love it after I am forced to listen to it over and over again. Throw in a remix and a video and it'll be my ringtone in no time!

Lil Wayne brought Robin Thicke. I am glad that I kept on watching. I love me some Robin Thicke. Who knew a Canadian could have so much soul? Certainly not me. Weezy's performance has me all sorts of excited for Mardi Gras. Wayne didn't win album of the year and I'm not too shocked. Maybe next year he should team up with Alison Krauss. Just a suggestion.

Throwback Joints: Erykah Badu Edition

Congrats to Erykah for having a baby. I heard that she blogged about the birthing process real time via Twitter. Eww. I heard she named the unfortunate sould Twitty Milk. At any rate, I have fallen in love with her all over again. The first video I'm posting is "Bag Lady" I LOVE THIS SONG. I know too many bag ladies and hope that I never become of them.




This second clip is "Tyrone" I have recently dusted off this phrase and thought now would be a good time to post the video.

Throwback Joint: Oops (Oh My)

Today's throwback joint is broken up into two parts. The idea came from Erykah Badu allegedly (lawd, I hope it's just a horrible horrible internet rumour, but i doubt it) naming her child Twitty Milk. After a few comments back on forth on facebook, Tweet's name came up and I thought "what happened to her ass?" I really did like her. "Smoking Cigarettes" is such a good song. Anyway, here is the video that kicked it all off:



P.S. How cool does that ice hotel look? I would LOVE to go to one of those.