Thursday, October 30, 2008

Keeps Getting Better?

I think not. If you are going to name a song that, you had better have a video to back that ish up. I mean, come on now! We are in the midst of another Britney vs Christina moment and Christina has obviously lost. I like the song, it's fun and sounds very Rachel Stevens. (Look up "Nothing Good About Goodbye") I know this song is from her greatest hits and they probably aren't putting a ton of money behind the CD, but Damn! Give a bitch a budget! She is just sitting around playing on a board looking like Timbaland. Dance, vogue, do SOMETHING. I cannot endorse this:

Monday, October 27, 2008

Jesus Be My BlindFold!

This clip came to me courtesy of one Max Jones. I don't know where he found it, but I am really alarmed. Aretha Franklin is SANGIN' MiMi's "Touch My Body" which of course makes me think of some poor man charged with the responsibility of fulfilling her request. She's got body for days y'all. I really hope she decides to end her feud with Beyonce and cover Single Ladies. Maybe she could change the chorus to "Put a chicken wing on may" or "put an onion ring in me (belly..y'all so nasty!)" Of she could dust off an oldie, but goodie and remake "Freakum Dress" I'mma stay posted on YouTube waiting for her next awesome cover. And I give you all the original ReRe:

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Throwback Joint: Imagination

This video comes from Tamia. It wasn't as big as "Stranger in My House" or, umm forget it, but I still like it. It combines a riff from the Jackson 5 and has a Busta Rhymes "Put Yo Hands Where I can See" vibe. The video was the first time I really saw an urban chick doing something so edgy and dark. It looked very similar to the NIN video for "Closer" Fast forward to 2008 when people are knocking Beyonce for biting styles and looks and praising RiRi for being edgy and different. Anyway, here is Tamia being edge and different, all while biting another video. Keep this up Tamia, and I'mma have to call you BeRiRi.

New Music: Return The Favour

This is the second single from Keri Hilson. I guess "Energy" didn't catch on like they anticipated, so they went with this song that sounds like a slower sequel to "Way I Are" It was directed by Melina, who did Ciara's latest video and they both have that futuristic vibe. Keri looks stunning in this video and I like the vibe of the song. It's really slinky and sexy. She is giving us some major RiRi references in this video:
1.) The scene with her in the pink dress with the mirrors is very S.O.S.
2.) The dance breakdown in the water is very "Umbrella"

Am I right, or am I right? Alright, enjoy

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I Hope It's Not Too Late to Put A Ring On It...

I know Beyonce/Sasha/Divine Wearer of the Asian Silky Jumbo #5 likes to look to the past for inspiration for her videos. I knew her "Single Ladies" video was shot in the style of one of those 60s variety show performances. What I didn't know is that B totally swagger jacked this Gwen lady. I first saw Gwen doing this exact same dance to Unk's "Walk it Out" I saw it last week for the first time actually. It had me rolling. Anyay, imagine my shock, awe, & moisture level when I found this video:



I'mma do B, like Us Weekly or whatever tab does it: WHO DID IT BEST?

Monday, October 20, 2008

Throwback Joint: There You Go

So MTV is pushing P!nk's new album like they have something riding on it. Between all of their shows, they are playing interviews with her. I'd like to say "F you, MTV, I see right through you and I will NOT buy into it!!!" Sadly, if MTV tells me to do something, I do it. I am kind of excited for her new album to come out. I just returned Ne-Yo's album (it was too slow) and I have 9.99 burning a hole in my pocket. Her new song is really catchy, so I'm hoping there will be more catchy songs and cunty dramatical songs that make me misty eyed. It's kind of her formula and I ain't mad at it.
Does anyone else remember when P!nk used to be black? Well I thought she was, when I first heard this throwback joint on the radio. I actually bought that album and it was decent. I was able to buy into the whole sassy, strong black woman, but I must admit that her rocker chick persona feels a little more authentic. At any rate, I really don't care about image and the like--it's all about the music man! Also, when did I become such a dirty hippie? Of course it's all about the image.

Put a C-Ring on It

OK, so a few posts back, I was bitching and moaning about not being able to do an easy dance to Beyonce's "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It). Apparently my working and going to school has stopped me from studying the video frame by frame to recreate the video for tens of people to watch online via YouTube. Thankfully, work/school haven't gotten in the way of this lad's attempts to Get me Bodied. Is that the correct use of that phrase? I still really don't understand it. At any rate, here is a Single Guy (Probably not for long after this clip blows up) dancing to Single Ladies:

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Throwback Joint: This is Me Remix



Yesterday I was talking to my friend and she was telling me a serious story about this guy she is dating. Apparently he is all damaged, due to his crazy ex girlfriend. My friend has been trying to assure him that she's not (that) crazy. I had to interrupt her mid story to say "You know your situation reminds me of a song, right?" I then, proceeded to sing the chorus of this for her. So this goes out to my friend who isn't that crazy.
This video is also fitting because this was the original Danity Kane and MTB comes on tonight. Both groups had moderate success with their first albums, only to have rumours of breakups and solo deals tear them apart. Sad. I like how the video even has the Bad Boy answer to Eminem. Is it me or does he look like Donnie's guido-ed out cousin? Think about it and get back to me.

Monday, October 13, 2008

New Beyonce: Single Ladies



Ok, so today I had the pleasure of seeing not one, but TWO new videos from Beyonce! Wow. Now I KNOWS there's a God when ish like this happens. I haven't really been trying to download leaked tracks by Beyonce, as I want to be surprised when it comes out. This song is different. It kind has a "Get Me Bodied" vibe to it, but it's not as catchy. I instantly liked Get Me Bodied, but this one took me a listen of two before I could get into it. This song lacks a long intro that gives me time to run to the dance floor and that is a problem.
This video is actually pretty cool to me. I like how stripped down it is. One look, two dancers and nothing too flashy. It's kind of refreshing. I think she looks beautiful. I like her new lion mane and the body is banging. I am not sure how I feel about the robo arm. It's kinda fierce and creep at the same time. I like the dramatic breathing at the end. She wants us to know that she really put in some work. She's not just going to stand around and look pretty. She's not afraid to sweat out her perm. THIS is why I love Beyonce.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Throwback Joint: '03 Bonnie and Clyde




This song has been in my head the past few days and I'm loving it all over again. Just think, this was the first time people really started talking about Jay and Beyonce possibly being a couple. That was back in '03 and they're still together. As my close friend Whitney Houston would say "That's love....BLACK LOVE!" I think this video is beautiful and I love the melancholy vibe the Spanish guitar gives this song. Enjoy.

Friday, October 10, 2008

New Slang: Renee Zelwegger





So today's slang refers to a look that I use alot. I am not always allowed to speak my mind so instead I let looks do the talking. One look that I found myself using a little more than I should is one that Renee Zelwegger has really made her signature. It's a smile that says "I'll smile, but I want you to know just exactly how much it pains me to do so" Someone talking to you about some ish, you're not trying to hear? ZELWEGGER them bitches! Your boss pops off at the mouth, but you can't cuss him/her out? Serve them up a heaping plate of Renee Zelwegger goodness. Please note, you shouldn't get upset when people ask you if you are constipated or passing kidney stones.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

New Video: Love Lockdown

I am still unsure of why Kanye chose to premiere his new clip on Ellen. Now I'm hearing that Britney is releasing her new video on Dateline or 20/20 or some ish. What happened to the good old days of releasing music on music channels? I guess we don't have enough news to cover, so we look to pop music.
At any rate, the video is really cool. I like the white on white. In true 'ye style, he has upped the cunty/dramatic factor tenfold. BRAVA!!


Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Thanks to Kanye's Workout Plan

So Septemeber was really rough towards the end as far as working out. I got super busy with life and pretty stressed out, so that fell to the bottom of my to-do list. I was driving home from school the other day and Kanye's "Workout Plan" came on. It really inspired me to get it back together. Well that and I put on a pair of jeans and they almost fit without me wearing a belt. I later realised that I had just washed them, but still, I was hella nervous.
Last night, I decided to go to a hip hop class to keep my workout fun. I haven't been in awhile and it's a nice change up to running for 30-40 minutes. I am so dedicated that I decided to miss making the band and watch it later. That's huge. But I'll get to MTB later. I show up and the instructor is this white guy who is taller than me. He was wearing sweatpants with CARGO pockets and that right there was almost enough to make me walk out of the class. On top of that, when he was waiting for the class to fill up, he was pop locking. Minus ten points. I decided that would give him a chance. I'm glad I did. The class ended up being a really good workout. During the class I kept on trying to place the face. It wasn't until the end that I remembered that I saw my instructor "dancing" at a bar. All the other go-go dancers were body rolling and booty clapping, but I remember looking up and seeing my instuctor and saying "why is he dancing like the boys of N*Sync?"
It's always weird when you see people from the bars out in normal situations. I guess baretenders and dancers need to go to school, workout, eat etc, but it always is weird to me. Kind of like seeing a dog walk on its two hind legs. ( I jacked that from Mean Girls) I saw a shot server at my campus bookstore and it was so awkward. I was thinking "you look different when you aren't harassing me to buy shots, have clothes on and you're not jingling your goodies in my face" Instead, I gave a forced Renee Zellwegger smile and kept it moving.
Anyway, I came home and was able to watch making the band. It was boring as fuck until the last 15 minutes, when we find out that Danity Kane doesn't really like one another. Oh snap! Who really cares? Do they make hot songs? Keep your issues locked up and get those checks while you can. At the end of the show Diddy kicks Aubrey out the group. I just noticed that she kinda has a little wonk action on her left eye. Sad. Wonky eyed AND booted from your manufactured girl group. what a day! Aubrella is all heated because there is talk of Dawn going solo and Diddy used Dawn to record demos. Well duh! Dawn has always stood out as a unique voice and she writes. Diddy has been loving her long time. But, I beg the ladies of DK to take note of Destiny's Child. Michelle and Kelly shut the fuck up when B went solo. They dusted off their hot pants and heels and made a record when B was ready. They had bills to pay and weren't going to F up a good thing. Since, I have zero desire to see any of the girls to go solo (well, minus Dawn) I suggest, they do the same. Let Dawn go out and play. She'll probably go the Nicole Scherzinger road, but hey, at least she'll see that DK is where he money is coming from. I don't want the ladies to make any hasty decisions (even though the show is taped and what's done is done) and I encourgage them to SLEEP ON IT.

New Music: Go Girl



I was watching BET for the first time in months and I saw the "Access Granted" for Ciara's new video "Go Girl" At first listen, I was not a huge fan of the song for a few reasons:

1.) It's midtempo
2.) It features T-Pain
3.) It features T Pain

After hearing the track, I was wondering what Ciara would do to inspire folks in the club. Luckily, she enlisted the director, Melina to direct the clip. It's pretty hot. There's no story and she's not giving us any raw emotions. She is simply dancing in various get ups and set ups. We see her first at work. She is rocking some librarian glasses and using a typewriter. If this is supposed to be futuristic, why rock granny glasses (with a chain) and use something as antiquated as a typewriter? Maybe cooler effects were too costly. Damn this recession!
The next setup is Robo CiCi, who looks like a first cousin to Beyonce's "Get Me Bodied" Robo B. Beyonce rocks the gold, while Ciara gives us the silver. Her body looks banging and we all know I'm a sucker for the phony pony.
The last Ciara is the street Ciara that we all know and kind of like. She looks really good in this video, I cannot even hate. This is a prime example of how a video can help me change my mind about a song. I hated it significantly less after her first Chinese split. The she did another split using a chair? She is raising the bar. How am I supposed to do that in the club? Dance floors are dirty. I have long, giraffe like legs. I hope for the next clip, Ciara picks a faster song and gives us a less aspirational dance. I'm thinking, slide to the left and clap. Slide to the right and clap. Just a suggestion...

Friday, October 3, 2008

Fearless



So I have been loving Jazmine Sullivan for a minute and her album finally came out last week. I snapped that ish up with a quickness and boy am I glad I did! She lived up to the hype and I would have gladly paid full price for her album. FULL PRICE, that is serious, given the current price of oil and the recession. Here's a breakdown:

1.) Bust Your Windows: As the title implies, it's about bustin someone's windows out after they messed with your heart. I have never really wanted to do something that drastic, but it's dramatic and I'm a sucker for a dramatic chick (see: Mariah) This is a bomb ass revenge song

2.)Need You Bad: The single that is blowing up. It has Pepa from Salt N Pepa. I like the reggae vibe. It's a sharp contrast to the opening number. This one is more like "damn, I should have never left you. you were the ish.."

3.) My Foolish Heart: I like the beat. It reminds me of A.D.I.D.A.S. by Killer Mike

4.) Lions, Tigers and Bears: I LOVE this song. It's about being afraid to fall in love. As someone who is dead inside, it's nice to know that there are other people out there who aren't so quick to fall in love.

5.) Call Me Guilty: This is a bit dramatic for me. It's about domestic abuse and whether or not she should catch a case over the mofo.

6.) One Night Stand: "Usually I'm the one that's in the control, i Be the freakum, leave him, move on to the next man" That's how the song starts out. I wish she would stop trying to steal my life! No I kid! kind of.. It's about catching feelings for a one night stand. Kind of a different take on the one night stand.

7.) After the Hurricane: This reminds me of Monica's "Shoulda Known Better" as far as the beat. It's another breakup song, but I don't mean that in a bad way. She sings it with so much raw emotion that you can't help go through it with her.

8.) Dream Big: I guess the album needed a pick-me-up to stop us all from jumping off buildings.

9.) Live a Lie: "if the truth is gonna make me cry, I'd rather just live a lie" Amen J, AMEN.

10.) Fear: She is talking about the many things of which she is afraid. It kind of makes me think of what I'm afraid of. I'm going to have to go with everything.

11.) In Love With Another Man: It's just her and a piano and she's telling her man that she's in love with someone else. It's not the vulgar "I'mma do who I want, what what?!" that people are always saying. This is sweeter and is just about the heart wanting what it wants.

12.) Switch: Kinda cheesy and I could have done without it.


Overall the album is awesome. I can relate to most of the songs on some level. Her voice and delivery make you feel every note and emotion. I know everyone is looking for the next Lauryn Hill (minus the crazy) and as much as I hate to put my faith in people this early on, she has potential. Now if I see her ass on the cover of KING bent over and sucking on a lollipop, I'm deleting this review and I'll refuse to admit to ever having faith in her as an artist.

Throwback Joint: Dip It Low

Today's throwback joint came to me in my excitement around Beyonce's new CD that is coming out. Since I love Beyonce ALMOST as much as she loves fake hair, I could have simply posted a clip from her first album. That wasn't throwback enough for me. At work the other day, I saw that Ashanti will be in Gap Ads for Holiday 2008. That got me thinking of all the other R&B chicks out there who just fell the F off the Earth after Beyonce decided to go solo. I chose Christina Milian because I really enjoy this song. I like the video for a few reasons:
1.) It's Asian, like me
2.) The dance move at :47sec where she drops to the floor. Genius!
3.) Her introducing me to "poke it out, like yo' back broke"
4.) Rolling around and painting with her body

Basically Christina upped the hoe game and it kind of worked. We all were interested for a minute. Then Beyonce released a single or went to Starbucks and we all just stopped caring. Sad.