God Don't LIke Ugly

Ok,
so yesterday I took a really difficult exam. I mean, the teacher was asking questions about things not in the book. I left feeling relieved to have finished the exam, but a little anxious as I didn't think I did all that well. So, I am walking from my class to the parking garage when I see something that made me stop and smile. It was a license plate that read "I love my kitty!" or something lame like that. I had to laugh out loud. I imagined some old lady behind the wheel rocking a sweatshirt with a cat on it. Much to my chagrin, it was a man. There I was, feeling sorry for this "cat lady" and it turned out to be a MAN. All I could think was "HOW DREADFUL!" (that's compliments of Dwight from ATL Housewives) Since my mind tends to run with things, I instantly imagined his home life. He looked fairly normal, so I assumed he was probably made to put that plate on his car by his cat loving wife. Maybe his partner made him do it, as I don't know many straight men who proclaim their love for cats. At any rate, I just imagined how sad he must be that he has to drive around proclaiming his love for cats while people like me just giggled and made up stories about his life.
I made it to the garage, having forgotten about my test. I hate the UCF garage only because parking sucks and people literally stalk you when you walk to your car. People have offered me rides. Stranger danger! So I'm walking and my car is in sight. A car is stalking me, but I don't let it bother me. I am in full out strut mode and I'm in my own world..and then BAM! I trip over a freaking parking median! Seeing as how it happened a few minutes after me thinking not so nice thoughts, I figured it had to have been Karma acting with a quickness.
Sadly, I do not think Karma is done with me. Today after leaving a long ass physics lab, where I was assaualted by TWO different people with harsh breath, I stopped at the Union to pee. Before leaving, I checked myself out and thought "good job Ian. way to give a damn. You had class at 8:30am but still look presentable" After leaving the bathroom I felt everyone's eyes on me. I chalked it up to Chip & Pepper holding up their part of our agreement: I pay waaay too much for your jeans and in turn, you get me the attention I crave. Sadly, it took me a march through the busiest parts of campus to realise my zipper was down. Not just coming down, but way the F down. LIke my turkey timer could have popped out and made an appearance at any given time. All I cold think was "Thank the lawd, I wore drawers today..."

Here's to hoping someone saw me and laughed at my my faux pas. Oh, yeah, and here's to them tripping and not looking nearly as cool as I did when it happened.