I’m sure that by now you all know the saying “The straw that broke the camel’s back” If you don’t then you are dumb. Real dumb. Anyway, in my experience I have found it to be more like “The shot that made me make poor life choices” I know I’m not the only one who has been out having a normal night out of fun and then that one drink/shot comes around and things go left. Like ALL the way left. Then you wake up pantless at 3:30a with Mariah Carey blasting on your stereo. Is that just me? Whatever. You just don’t want to admit to it. Thankfully my girl, Rebecca* has no trouble keeping it real with me. (even when it’s REAL messy)
So Rebecca is a 30 something woman who is kind of new to a major metropolitan city. She is on the fast track at work and things are looking up for her career wise. Now she is able to focus on building up her social life. So this past weekend, after work Rebecca goes out with her girlfriend and her gay friend. They are having drinks and enjoying one another’s company when Rebecca sees this cool phone and asks this guy about it. This leads them talking and flirting. Apparently the guy ends up being hot as hell and from South America. See, when I talk to strangers in a bar about something they have that I like, they end up being creepy and very local. Anyway, Rebecca was about to wrap up the conversation after the hot South American, who I shall call Alejandro from now on, mentioned his girlfriend back home.
Thankfully for the purpose of this story, the girlfriend and gay friend weren’t trying to let the fun stop, so they ordered a ridiculously oversized drink for Rebecca and Alejandro to share and the night started to heat up. They ended up going to a gay bar and having fun. They danced the night away and at some point someone thought it’d be a great idea to go a tequila bar for shots. This tequila shot was the final straw.
The two wing people went their separate ways, leaving Rebecca and Alejandro alone. By this point the gf back home was forgotten and the couple was on their way to Alejandro’s hotel. They were about to do what two drunk, attractive adults are prone to do when Rebecca had that all too familiar rumbling. She got up and proceeded to pray to the porcelain gods. Unlike me, Rebecca is not trained in the ways of the ninja and didn’t plan an escape so she ended up washing her mouth out and sleeping over.
The next morning Alejandro had to leave because he had an early flight. That’s what Rebecca told me, but I’m guessing her didn’t want to sleep with a girl who puked. Those are just my zesty two cents. Anyway, so he got up and showered and she slept in a bit longer. This, ladies and gentleman is a rookie mistake. Why prolong your walk of shame? Get out before the sun comes up is my mantra that has gotten me this far. Anyway, Rebecca had a last bathroom stop before leaving the hotel and heading home.
It wasn’t until she got downstairs and the door was VERY locked, that she realized that she had left her key in the room on the dresser. Damn, Gina! At this point Rebecca is over the whole situation. She puked and ruined her chance of getting with a hot South American and now she was locked out of her apartment. She walks up to the desk agent (mind you she still has on last night’s clothes and in my head she looks a hot ass mess) and explains that she met a guy in the bar last night and went home with him and now has her key in his room. The desk clerk is NOT discreet in the least (I mean, why be so for what could very well be a high priced call girl) and the next thing Rebecca knows, the whole world is hearing her business. They ask for Alejandro’s last name but Rebecca doesn’t know this, which makes it look even shadier! This, ladies and zestlemen, is why when you meet someone, you get his/her FULL name.
Rebecca ended up getting her key and went on her merry way. I’m guessing all of this foolishness MIGHT have been avoided if people had said a simple “no” to the idea of taking shots of tequila after a long night of drinking. You can take this however you choose. Some may just avoid the tequila. I say that it should be embraced, just be mindful of where you put your keys and get a last name. I mean really, only hookers don’t ask last names.
*names have been changed to protect the busy and whorey.
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