Me. I Am Mariah...The Elusive Chanteuse: Album Review

I don’t know if people know this but I am a HARDCORE Lamb. I think Mariah No Middlename Carey, is one of the greatest vocalists ever. Not only does she have the pipes, but she understands technique. Her lyrics range from fun and sometimes childish, to profound. With that being said, I think that she has kind of been coasting since Emancipation of Mimi. She had E=MC2 which was good, but didn’t see the same success. Many think that’s why she went to The Dream for her next album, “Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel” That album actually did even worse. I mean, when I say “worse, I’m saying she didn’t go platinum in America. Her life could be worse: she could have sales like Ciara…

So what’s a diva of a certain age to do when she wants to remind the world that she is still more than just an over the top personality and capable of selling albums? Well first, she goes back to Jermaine Dupri who was crucial to Emancipation of Mimi. Then she enlists all of the hottest producers of the moment. (Mike Will Made It, Hit Boy, Rodney Jerkins etc) After medical issues and SEVERAL pushbacks, it seems as if Ms. Carey is ready to show us what she’s made of….


Cry: Mariah start us out with a big, dramatic, and soulful piano driven ballad. It’s not a shocker, but this song deals with a relationship gone wrong. The first verse shows Mariah staying a bit more reserved vocally. Verse two sees her start in with her trademark vocals. She manages to blend her whisper register that she’s been o fond of as of late with her soaring vocals. If anything, this song songs very “Old Mariah”/”New Ariana Grande”

Faded: Mike Will Apparently made it. How did I know this? Well he announced it within the first 5 seconds. The track has his trademark knocking bass but still manages to be sexy at the same time. Mariah isn’t overshadowed by such big production, which can be a challenge and her voice actually sounds strong and clear.

Dedicated: This song starts out with Mariah and some dude talking about the summer of ’88. The conversation seems a bit superfluous, but given the throwback vibe of this it actually makes sense. Apparently Mariah isn’t ridiculous without purpose. (Well not all the time) This song proves that Mariah is just as capable as Mary as doing a hip hop/soul joint. You know she has street cred. I mean, this woman went back like babies and pacifiers with the late ODB.

#Beautiul: The single that came out forever again and featured Miguel. I always loved the breezy nature of the song. I even got over the fact that takes awhile to actually sing a verse on it. This version does sound slightly different than the single. Maybe a bit faster? Also, “fucking beautiful” just seems to be a bit over the top and unnecessary.

Thirsty: To be honest, I didn’t like the song when I first heard it. I put it on the level of “Obsessed” which I didn’t love on first listen. IT sounds like “Niggas in Paris” as it’s by the same producer, Hit Boy. I thought she was competing with the track, but when I gave it a few listens I didn’t feel that way. I love her word play with the whole “thirsty for cel-eb-ir-it- TEA” Get it? I actually like the version without the rap. Her ad libs and runs are actually pretty ridiculous. I guess Hit Boy has proven me wrong again as I had the same feeling of “the hell?!” upon first listen of Beyonce’s “Bow Down”

Make it Look Good: So the track sounds very old school. Like almost 1960’s throwback but TURNT up. The lyrics are rapid fire and the song has some pretty dope harmonies.
You’re Mind (Eternal): This was supposed to be the single to kick off the new album. That didn’t happen. It sounds very Emancipation of Mimi era. That’s not a bad thing at all. I just never felt much when I listened to it. Upon hearing it with good headphones, I can appreciate the production. I used to dislike the staccato used throughout the song, but it’s grown on me and made it a bit catchier for me, actually.

You Don’t Know What to Do: This takes me to an “I Will Survive” state of mind as it starts out slow and dramatic and builds to a bouncing, fun beat that BEGS a roller rink DJ to play it on repeat. At the point, anyone who knows me that I LOVE a fun breakup song. The Wale feature works well and feels effortless.

Supernatural: Not to be outdone by Blue Ivy Carter, Mariah puts Dem Babies to work on the track. They can be heard cooing throughout, but my whole thing is like, aren’t they old enough to be doing vocal runs? I mean, they are Mariah’s (and maybe Nick’s?) children, so I wanted them to come out wig snatching and showing off their whistle registers. This is a pretty love song. To make up for her vocally stunted children, Mariah does a serious of vocal runs. Ok, I spoke to soon. This child just did a vocal run. I was kidding about my earlier disappointment. Then Monroe says she’s a chanteuse? I couldn’t help but smile.

Meteorite: She starts out quoting Warhol with regards to 15 minute of fame. I’m guessing she’s shading someone, but I can’t figure out who. That woman is just so freaking good at throwing shade. This is an up tempo, disco-y track that I’m guessing is supposed to be inspirational, but it’s not resonating with me, so I keep on tuning in and out. I like that she says “Turn up all the way” as that helps keep her current. The kids are all about turning up these days.

Camouflage: a breathy, piano backed, ballad about camouflaging her tears. She dusts off some of her old faves: black choirs, key changes and whistle notes. It actually save a song that could easily become boring fast.
One More Try: She done took us to church, y’all. You know she was going to get her money’s worth with that black choir. I forgot that Mariah love to do covers and it took me a good minute to realize that this is a cover of George Michael’s song. I actually like what she did with this. Even though I love “Bringing on the Heartbreak” this song feel a bit more suited for her.
Heavenly: Still in church. I don’t really love this song. It feels the feel good anthem from a movie soundtrack.

Me. I am Mariah…The Elusive Chanteuse: This was released when she announced the album and artwork. It seemed hella ridiculous as it’s her talking but it’s filled with ad libs. Hearing it on the album helps it make a LITTLE more sense, but it’s still over the top/So Mariah.

Ok, so I will be honest: I thought this album had train wreck potential. I mean, a 44 year old woman dropping a single with a hip hop beat featuring a rapper seemed a bit scary. I mean, who does she think she is, JENNIFER LOPEZ? Haha All shade aside, even J Lo comes off a bit desperate at times with her music choices. Staying relevant in this age where people have little to no respect for pioneers and talented people in general can be a challenge. Mariah and JD have figured out how to have her sound 2014 while keeping her true to her sound. Mimi and her talents are able to shine instead of being a simple afterthought to the beat.
I think Mariah’s voice is sounding the best that it has in awhile and she is really showcasing her ability to deal with an instrument that is aging. Sure she doesn’t sound identical to Dreamlover Mariah, but that’ to be expected. I’ve actually come to like the smokier sound to her voice. She’s more dependent upon her lower registers than ever before, but she is still able to transitional effortlessly between them. Plus no pop singer out right now has mastered the whistle register the way she has.

I’m hoping that with this album she will be a little less “elusive” It’s time for people to talk about more than her fabulously bedazzled arm slings and penchant for champagne on early morning talk shows. The album is solid so now it’s in the hands of her promo team. If the grind of her Photoshop specialist is any indicator of how hard her team works, I think she will be just fine.

Album Review: Beyoncé: Beyoncé

So Beyoncé released tour dates for her second round of the Mrs. Carter World Tour this week raising the question of “how in the world is this woman touring on no album?” Sure once was a coup and something novel, but two years doing her greatest hits? Who does she think she is? BEYONCE GISELLE KNOWLES CARTER, that’s who. In keeping with the idea that Bey does what she wants WHEN she wants, she has quietly released her fifth album online via itunes. A Friday the 13th release without any radio or promo tour? Who does that? BEYONCE, that’s who.

I heard awhile back that she was going to drop an album in December following the Jay Z Magna Carter blueprint (announce and release within a week) but had kind of given up. I knew that she was going to release this album when she was good and ready. This release comes weeks after Britney Spears’ album release, which was plagued by an early leak. Britney also streamed her album online for a full week before its release, which is another trend people are doing to drive promotion. Bey wasn’t here for that. Clearly she’s hit the point in her career that you want to see someone you admire hit: THE POINT OF NOT GIVING A FUCK. She’s doing things on her own timetable and in her own manner and I find it quite refreshing.
This album comes in an era where people have zero attention span. As a child of the 80s, I remember having to wait for things. Janet Jackson’s album got released when she said it was going to be released. There were countdowns and making the videos for all of my top artists and then you lived with the videos for months learning the dance moves. Now there is so much information constantly bombarding us, we really don’t take time to appreciate music the same way. I find that kind of sad.

Pretty Hurts: The video takes us back to Bey’s pageant days. This time around it’s a darker look into the pressures of society to be perfect on the outside. It’s an interesting way to start an album off and kind of feels like a modern day “Unpretty"
Ghost: This visuals will have illuminati conspiracy theorists saying “TOLD YOU SO” but I see a simple beauty video of her on a white background. The song has her pretty much doing spoken word over a pretty banging beat. Sounds like she is channeling her Ms. Hill as she seems to be over the politics of the music industry. “Probably won’t make no money off this but oh well” Girl, we all know by now that money is made on touring and merchandise!

Haunted: This track is unlike anything I’ve heard from Bey. I like how it starts out all sparse and then builds to a bit more of a dance song. It’s not David Guetta dance, but there is a thumping beat that makes me want to move. The video makes me think of American Horror Stories meets Disturbia. The whole time Beyonce looks like she is shooting a spread with Ellen Von Unwerth. I love the look.

Drunk in Love: This song… It’s a song about being dickmotized set to a beat that makes you want to screw up your face and bounce. Needless to say, I LOVE this. The Jay verse is good, but odd that’d he’d choose to refer to himself as Ike Turn Up and tell Anna Mae to eat the cake. When you are a musical couple, is that a wise analogy? Fuck it, you’re Jay, you talk your shit and leave us all to deal with it. The video looks like it was filmed moments before the two went off to try to give Blue Ivy a new brother or sister.

Blow: This video looks like Solange’s wet dream come true. There is roller skating, lowrider bikes and hipster looking people. The song has a decidedly throwback 80s vibe to it. It sounds like Pharell/Neptunes production. Towards the end of it, it switches into “Cherry” which sounds like TImbaland. Then right when you get used to the fact that Blow is over, she brings that beat back. The song(s) are light and fun and I love any choreography on roller skates.

No Angel: The video takes us back to H town and highlights all the hood shit that goes on there. Candy coated Lacs? Yup. Mean mugging thugs with gold toofeses? Ya bet! Stab wounds? CHECK! The vocals on this are falsetto and breathy. I enjoy it. IN other news: I still can’t get used to a skinny Paul Wall.

Yonce: I love the beat. It has a nice knock to it. This is a cocky/fun song and I love it when Bey acts out on tracks. Bey has recruited Chanel Iman, Jorudun Dunn and Joan Smalls to create a fly as hell girl gang. I’m seriously hurt that no one reached out to me.

Partition: I love how the video starts out with Bey sitting across from her lover at breakfast and he is reading the paper. She then goes into a daydream of her doing ho shit (but not like NIcki ho shit, but like classy Vegas showgirl type ho shit) The choreography is cool and sexy and goes with the vibe of this sexual song. I don’t have a car with a partition (or a car at all, actually) but the notion of getting freaky in the back of a car that has one just screams LUXURY. You know what doesn’t: he gonna Monica Lewinsky all over my dress. GIRL NO! OK, I’ll allow it.

Jealous: The video starts out the same way as Partition, but this time Bey goes in a different direction. Instead of sexy fantasies, she jumps up from breakfast, put on her lace robe with a collar higher than her neck, and stomps out. Sick of being ignored, she launches into Jealous, which I love. Then she flips it and talks about going out, talking to her ex and making her man jealous. Lyrically this feels very Frank Ocean to me and I am not mad about that in the least. Random note: I’m pretty sure Renee from ANTM 20 is in this video around 2:27.

Rocket: This makes me think of D’Angelo’s “Untitled” It is dripping sex. The video starts out following Bey’s amazing curves. For the majority of the video she is writhing in bed. When the song starts to reach its climax there are thinly veiled references like a gas nozzle being put into a tank and a drill penetrating a wall. Girl, you so freaky!

Mine: These are some pretty striking visuals. Bey starts out looking like saint holding someone painted all white, while holding a white mask. Behind her dancers in long, drapey fabric twirls for their lives, HUNNY! It all comes together to look like a moving painting. Drake comes in looking as emo as he wants to and I actually like the way the two blend together. I hate when people have a feature for the sake of a feature. I bet they stayed up late writing this song while eating Ben and Jerry’s and watching “Girls”

XO: So this track might be an early winner in my head. Something about it speaks my soul. It almost reminds me of how I felt when I first heard “Halo” It’s just quite simply, a beautiful love song. The video was the one she shot in Coney Island a few months back. Nothing too stellar here. Just her bopping around the park and people losing their damned minds. (not that I blame them)

Flawless: Ok, truth be told, I was upset when I didn’t see “Bow Down” on the track listing. Bey heard my prayers and she answered with this song which takes Bow Down, adds some lady talking about gender inequality and then ends with another cocky song. With new additions, Bow Down, seems a lot less anti female (as pressed bitches accused Bey of being) and more empowering to women and zestlemen alike. The video made me nervous at first as it looked like Bey was at a Skinhead concert. Turns out I was wrong. Apparently not all white people with shaved heads who are moshing are skinheads. Leave it to Beyonce to teach me lessons in a simple music video. #themoreyouknow

Superpower: A beautiful song with great lyrics. I like her with Frank Ocean and think their voices mesh well together. The video seems to have kind of picked up where “Run the World” left off. It’s that whole post-apocalyptic feel. Beyonce is doing a slow motion walk and people keep on joining. They all look mad as hell for some reason. I didn’t get the video. I mean, at one point Kelendria, Michelle AND Pharell have joined this march and we aren’t sure why they are marching. They all look amazing (yes, even Michelle) which makes it hard to look away. The video all made sense to me in the very last few seconds. Well played, Bey.

Heaven: Ok, I guess it wouldn’t be Beyonce if she didn’t make me tear up. The line of “Heaven couldn’t wait for you” just put me through it. The video is features my favourite dancer of hers and focuses on their friendship. Pretty simple. You know what wasn’t simple? Those seizures that followed after watching the last 30 seconds. Like who thought that’d be a good idea? I literally thought I was on my way to heaven. Wait.. Hold on. Maybe that’s the point. Bey, you’re so smart!

Blue: you already know I’m a sucker for a song that people write for their child. This song is so sweet you can’t help but smile and think about someone you love. If you don’t then you’re a heartless fuck. The video makes me want to go to Brasil STAT.

Grown Woman: I have waited for these visuals for so long. I love this song still and the video did not disappoint me. I love how they have her and Kelly re-enacting old footage and how the vintage footage is singing along to the track. This video brings us full circle to the pageant beginning of the album. I like the choreography and love the regal realness Mama Tina is serving up. Also, I wish I was the baby that she kisses in the end.



Overall I am satisfied with this album. It was refreshing to experience an album with visuals for every track all at once. I know I’m in the minority of people who still buy music, but it’s albums like this that demand I buy it. I don’t really like iTunes but trust and believe they got my 15.99. You want people to buy your shit? Make it new and different. Being _____ is no longer enough. (hey ciara!) You need to offer up something that commands attention. Will this album break first week sales records? I’m not Miss Cleo, how the hell would I know?! What I DO know is that it will make people sit up and listen and remember why they call this woman KING. (well that and she kind of strong armed us into it. You know who else demanded to be called King? Michael Jackson, that’s who.)

Album Review: Miley Cyrus: Bangerz (Deluxe Edition)

It might seem that my recent fascination/obsession with one Miley Cyrus is some new thing. I don’t usually tell people this, but I feel really close to you all, so I’m going to open up: I’ve been a closeted Miley fan for quite some time now. I mean, the line of “She’s just being Miley” is one of my favourites. I didn’t watch Hannah Montana, so my opinion has always been based solely on her music. I don’t think I am alone. I was out on July Fourth and saw a straight bar wild the hell out when “Party in the USA” came on.
So for those of you who don’t have cable, the internet or a general clue, Miley has been everywhere acting out and doing anything she can think of to show us just what “being Miley” entails. Apparently it has a lot to do with sticking your tongue out and taking provocative photos. She’s gotten all of our attention and has just dropped her album. She has a new sound and has been everywhere talking about how she wanted to make a classic album. Slow down girl! Rome wasn’t built in a day and Thriller wasn’t MJs first album released. So what’s all the hoopla about?

Adore You: This was an interesting way to start out an album called “Bangerz” This song is a pop ballad but has serious knock to it. The lyrics are actually really beautiful. Her voice is showcased quite well with the production.

We Can’t Stop: This is my life’s anthem. That’s all. No, but really it’s catchy for some reason I can’t really understand. When I first heard it, it felt like what it was: A song Rihanna turned down. Miley performed an acoustic version of this on SNL that was pretty dope.

SMS: Britney spears is on this song and it sample “Push It” by Salt N Pepa. There’s a LOT going on with the production here. Britney’s feature feels unnecessary here and doesn’t really do much to help the song.

4X4: I like this Pharell produced track. The song feels really country and she talks about driving so fast because she’s about to piss her pants. If that’s not country, I don’t know what is. This song makes me want to take shots of Fireball and dance on a bar.

My Darlin: I really don’t like Future, but I like this song. It samples “Stand By Me” and is really pretty and kind of sexy to me.

Wrecking Ball: This song is pretty genius. I like delivery on it and the chorus is just really big. It feels like a song that a Pink or a Kelly Clarkson could do justice as well. Once again Swedish producers have a hold of me. This song makes me want to drink wine while I burn my ex’s house down. Wait, is that weird? Shit.

Love, Money, Party: Way to follow up some a deep song like Wrecking Ball with this ignorant ass song. I actually enjoy the song, but there’s just not much to it lyrically. I will play this when getting dressed to go out while I do body rolls and make stank face.

Get it Right: Pharell is back and this track is so summery and breezy. I really love what they’ve done together and kind of wish there was more tracks of his. It sounds cute, but lyrically Miley is trying to get it in. MY GIRL!

Drive: There is this slightly annoying sound in the background, but I kind of like how hard the track just bangs you upside the head and doesn’t stop. I guess this is like Dubstep light?

FU: This song is pretty dope fuck off song. I like that it sounds super dramatic like something out of a musical or something. It’s really unique and not really like anything out right now.

Do My Thang: William from Black Eyed Peas (I refuse to be all cute with his name. Sorry) I like the track and it has Miley sounding urban as hell. I like how it sounds like it going to go the route of all other euro dance pop tracks but then it gets really dirty south.

Maybe You’re Right: another pop ballad. I like the beat and the lyrics are great, It’s not as big as Wrecking Ball, but I still am a fan.

Someone Else: It feels like this song had aspirations of being a dance track, but falls kind of flat.

Rooting For My Baby: This song genuinely bores me.

On My Own: The track is good. I think this is Pharell as well, but I’m far too lazy to google it. It makes me think of Daft Punk

Hands in the Air: I still love a Ludacris guest appearance, but this song is just mediocre.



So when I first listened to it, I was like “the hell?” but this is actually an album that you need to listen to a couple times. I was actually shocked by the way it turned out. I guess I was expecting songs more along the lines of “We Can’t Stop” and “Pour it Up” as those were the two main songs I knew the Mike Will Made It produced. I was slightly upset, but then pleasantly surprised. I mean, being versatile is always a good thing and I like when people zag when they’re expected to zig. Ya feel me? The title of “Bangerz” feels slightly misleading after hearing this album, but you can’t deny that every track has knock to it. Maybe Knockerz would have been a better title. Let me stop giving away all this creativity for free!

Anyway, I'm satisfied with the album and I think she'll have her fair share of people feeling some sort of way about this. It's not "Hood" Miley 100% and it wasn't Hannah Montana Miley either. Something tells me that she's fresh outta fucks and will continue to do what she wants. And yes, we will all watch and secretly love her morefor it.

Album Review: Ariana Grande: Yours Truly

I am too damned old to be concerned with Nickelodeon/Disney stars. However, when these stars decide to start making music, they become my concern. Ariana Grande is definitely on my radar. I hated on her first single when I heard it, but it won over my cold heart. Subsequent singles and even seeing her cover Mariah’s “Emotions” made me see that this chick is the real deal. Her whistle register is pretty dope. Yours Truly’ not only has to introduce the world to Ariana as a musical artist, but also let us know if this girl has what it takes to fill Mariah’s Louboutins. Here’s the blow by blow:


Honeymoon Avenue: The song and album start off with soaring strings (not unlike Justin Timberlake’s) which lead up to a mid tempo song that has some knock to it. Ariana’s vocals are really showcased and allowed to shine under this fairly simple production. I like how the lyrics stick to theme of driving to convey that she is over her man’s foolishness and wants him to go back to how he used to act when he was trying to first get in her panties. I mean, these are lyrics we can ALL relate to, no?

Baby I: The beginning of this reminds me of the start of a movie when they do the THX sound. I like the song. It’s really cute and frantic. The chorus has Ashanti written all over it. Hell, the whole song says “baby” probably 2342338 times. You know Ashanti is pissed that she didn’t write this first. It’s a fun and simple love song.

Right There: This song features not only Big Sean, but an amazing sample of a Lil’ Kim classic. I have always loved the beat to “Crush on You” so this song won me over quite easily. I like the addition of the snaps and the drums to make it sound a bit different and fresh.

Tattooed Heart: I have always said that Ariana is constantly styled like a girl from the 50s going to the dance. This song is most likely what her slow dance song of choice would be. It’s a bit boring, but it allows her to show off her powerhouse vocals.

Lovin’ It: A fun, bouncy track with a lot of hand claps and “hey” samples. This is starting to sound like her signature sound

Piano: I think I really enjoy the lyrics to this song. I just like the whole idea of “instead of being salty, I’m gonna get over it and dance”

Daydreamin’: She starts out all breathy and dreamy. She stops giving us 90s Mariah and serves up some 2000s Mariah for a moment. The song itself is decent.
The Way: This was the first song I heard about her. Many thought this was Mariah when it first came out. The Big Pun sample and the big voice definitely seemed like something that Mariah would have done back in the day. I didn’t love it when I first heard it, but it grew on me.

You’ll Never Know: I don’t have anything to say. It’s not horrible, just forgettable.

Almost is Never Enough: I freaking love this song. Productionwise it’s just a piano and some snaps (quel surprise) but the vocals and the lyrics is what makes it stand out. I don’t often care for slow songs, but Ariana and Nathan Skyes turned this song out. It kind of reminds me of Brandy’s “Brokenhearted”

Popular Song: I honestly thought MIKA was dead. I’m glad to report he’s not and he’s making music with Ariana Grande. I guess this is supposed to give unpopular kids hope. It’s kind of cheesy to me.

Better Left Unsaid: I guess no album in 2013 is complete until it has a fist pumping anthem. It’s an upbeat, fun song but it sounds like a bad David Guetta wannabe. I could have done without this.


Overall, I like the album. I don’t think the New Mariah” title is exactly just. Yes, the girl has pipes and a range that is far better than most chicks out today. With that being said, she still has a ways to go with learning exactly how to use what God has given her. I think she played it pretty safe with this album. She stuck to a formula of a piano, claps, chop and screwed vocals, and a few “HEY!”s for good measure. Yes, she had me nodding along, but a lot of material gets lost in the uniformity of the album.I think it was pretty smart to bring the 90s vibe. It comes off as something different for the younger generation who may not be familiar with 90s music. It strikes a chord of nostalgia with those of us who had some of our best memories set to 90s music.

I do think this is a solid first effort and that she could have a great career ahead of her. OR she could be the next Christina Aguilera. Remember when she was the new Mariah? How about Leona Lewis? When will people realize that calling new female artists “The New Mariah” is the kiss of death? Can we just call her “The next JoJo” and give this poor girl a chance to be great?

Here's little bonus:

Album Review: Ciara: Ciara

Ciara’s album has finally made its way to release. This album is interesting in the fact that her last two have flopped horribly, yet she still has gotten chances to record. This broad is lucky as hell to have some type of longevity in the industry without the numbers to back it up. This album has been pushed back a bunch and even got renamed. I’m guessing that Ciara and her label are well aware that she needed to come back HARD. Quiet as it’s kept, I actually liked Basic Instinct and FantasyRide. They were solid efforts and probably could have done better with better promotion. This time around, the promotion feels much more, umm, existent. She has been all over “singing” (not unlike a contestant on RuPaul’s Drag Race.. ya feel me? ) for her life. Recently, she was on the BET Awards and was probably one of the most talked about performances of the night. That’s the buzz that she should have been trying to create over this past half decade. Anyway, so here is a quick rundown track by track:

I’m Out: The track is banging and hype and would usually be a great way to start out an album. My issue here is that Nicki Minaj is the star of this track. She starts out with her rap and punch lines and ends the song. Ultimately Ciara feels like a guest on her own track. I like the song and the video is pretty dope as well.

Sophomore: Ciara slows it down on this song, which has a bit of an Island vibe to it. Lyrically she’s saying that her kitty kat is better than the next chick. Nothing too game changing here.

Body Party: This was the lead single and a Mike. Will Made It production. He is the go to guy so if he can’t give you a hit, you might as well go ahead and put in your application to Starbucks. The song is pretty sexy and I like the “My Boo” sample. The video is pretty sexy as well.

Keep on Lookin’: A man starts out screaming in patois, but then the beat turns a bit more grimey, Atlanta. This is a cocky song, but it’s pretty uninspired and I’m not really sure if I buy it.

Read My Lips: I love this song. It’s such a cute song and sounds super sweet. Upon a closer listen you realize that she is talking about oral sex. Sold! I will take two please.

Where You Go: Her man, Future is on the track which is quite vibey in feel. I just really can’t deal with Future on this track and he is HEAVILY featured here. He kind of took away from the song for me.

Super Turnt Up: I was thrown by the title. I was really expecting a track that was, umm, turnt up. Also I need people to stop using that phrase like yesterday. The track isn’t a standout to me.

DUI: Lyrically this might be one of her strongest songs. She is in the pocket vocally here. (read: her thin voice fits well with the track and vibe of the song)

Livin It Up: Another NIcki collaboration? Damn Gina! I actually am not a huge fan of the Nicki verse on this one. This song is a pop song about umm, living it up. It’s decent, but I don’t really see this on the radio.

Overdose: Another feel good pop record. The problem here is that this song doesn’t sound like it was written with her in mind. Something feels off.

So the album to me doesn’t seem to have too many hits for the radio. All tea, mostly shade, I think this album will flop. I’m guessing that with some buzz around her it’ll probably double the 37K first week sales of Basic Instinct, but I don’t see this going platinum. It’s not that she put out a horrible album, it’s just that she didn’t put out an AMAZING album. 10 tracks? Girl, this might be your swan song! Throw a few more tracks that might resonate with people! Also, I like variety from artists BUT I do feel like it’s important to have a sound/lane. Right now Ciara’s sound is her being a good dancer.

I really wish I had the unlock for Ciara. I really like her and oftentimes want to give her an old fashioned Tyra Banks “I was rooting for you! We ALL were rooting for you!” lecture. I can’t think of woman that can dance like her or perform the way she does. Hell, I can’t even really think of a video that she’s ever dropped that’s been lame. I’m hoping that this time around she will turn the corner and get the rest of the general population who buys music to care about her again.

Album Review: Kanye West: Yeezus

I am a huge Kanye fan. I have liked him from the jump and have always thought he was a great artist. I have respected his work and have been able to differentiate between his offstage antics and his work. With that being said, I am still able to be critical. I have lived with his new album for a few days now and these are some thoughts of “Yeezus”

On sight: The album starts out with an almost cacophonic sounding track. It’s jarring and a bit different sound. This track sets the stage for the rest of the album. Don’t expect to hear anything like what you’ve heard from the radio

Black Skinhead: The track has a great track with awesome drums. It ends up being a lush soundscape but it’s not the typical Kanye sound that we’ve been accustomed to. Funny enough it has a bit of the same swing as Christina Aguilera’s “I hate Boys” Ye’s delivery is rapid fire and aggressive. He ends it repeating “God” and sounding very Napoleon Dynamite.
I am a God: This track is just ridiculous. Play it on good headphones and you will appreciate it so much more. I think the second verse pales in comparison to the first. I like the song but think he could have taken it further. The track has screams and heavy breathing. Kanye, you stunt queen, you!

New Slaves: I like how the track starts out super stripped down (well for Kanye) so you can focus on his powerful words. I think lyrically this is where I like Kanye. I like when he’s talking about something a bit deeper over a banging beat. I kind of wish he brought this same lyricism to “I am a God”

Hold My Liquor: This track gives us time to pause. It is one of the more melodic, chill tracks. Maybe a bit of a throwback to his 808s album?

I’m in It: This track starts is weird in that it is minimalistic, yet has this bounce to it. Did he just say “put my first in her like a civil rights sign”? Umm, eww.

Blood on the Leaves: I love the sample used reminds me of Monica’s “IF you were the Girl” This song goes hard and might just fuck up your speakers. This is a standout track for me. It has the banging track and fun, quotable lyrics

Guilt Trip: I love this track as it has an almost ethereal feel to it. I think Kid Cudi was a good choice to guest on this.

Send it Up: There’s pretty much an alarm going off in the background of this song the whole time yet it’s not annoying. “We can send this bitch up it can’t go down” is as close to a hook as you are really going to get on this album.

Bound 2: This has the feeling of an old Kanye track. This time around, it still feels a bit more stripped down than old Ye. It has an old school sounding sample which is what became Kanye’s signature.


So after hearing this album about times now I am still hearing new things that I haven’t heard before. I LOVE that. It’s different and far from radio friendly. Typically I like songs that I can sing along to or be in a club yelling along drunkenly to. Yeezus doesn’t really give us that. Instead, it gives us something a bit more forward thinking and artistic. I say artistic, not because I think this is Kanye at his lyrical best. I say it because he is doing what artists should do: create art that makes them happy and that they think makes the world a more interesting place. Kanye’s sound is evolving to something that feels a bit more minimalistic than we are accustomed to. I suppose it is a nice balance to a man whose personality and ego continue to grow more and more over the tp. Overall, I think this is a great effort that is well produced and feels cohesive. It should be interesting to see how it is received by the masses.

Dates from Hell: How to NOT Have a One Night Stand

I’m sure that by now you all know the saying “The straw that broke the camel’s back” If you don’t then you are dumb. Real dumb. Anyway, in my experience I have found it to be more like “The shot that made me make poor life choices” I know I’m not the only one who has been out having a normal night out of fun and then that one drink/shot comes around and things go left. Like ALL the way left. Then you wake up pantless at 3:30a with Mariah Carey blasting on your stereo. Is that just me? Whatever. You just don’t want to admit to it. Thankfully my girl, Rebecca* has no trouble keeping it real with me. (even when it’s REAL messy)

So Rebecca is a 30 something woman who is kind of new to a major metropolitan city. She is on the fast track at work and things are looking up for her career wise. Now she is able to focus on building up her social life. So this past weekend, after work Rebecca goes out with her girlfriend and her gay friend. They are having drinks and enjoying one another’s company when Rebecca sees this cool phone and asks this guy about it. This leads them talking and flirting. Apparently the guy ends up being hot as hell and from South America. See, when I talk to strangers in a bar about something they have that I like, they end up being creepy and very local. Anyway, Rebecca was about to wrap up the conversation after the hot South American, who I shall call Alejandro from now on, mentioned his girlfriend back home.
Thankfully for the purpose of this story, the girlfriend and gay friend weren’t trying to let the fun stop, so they ordered a ridiculously oversized drink for Rebecca and Alejandro to share and the night started to heat up. They ended up going to a gay bar and having fun. They danced the night away and at some point someone thought it’d be a great idea to go a tequila bar for shots. This tequila shot was the final straw.
The two wing people went their separate ways, leaving Rebecca and Alejandro alone. By this point the gf back home was forgotten and the couple was on their way to Alejandro’s hotel. They were about to do what two drunk, attractive adults are prone to do when Rebecca had that all too familiar rumbling. She got up and proceeded to pray to the porcelain gods. Unlike me, Rebecca is not trained in the ways of the ninja and didn’t plan an escape so she ended up washing her mouth out and sleeping over.
The next morning Alejandro had to leave because he had an early flight. That’s what Rebecca told me, but I’m guessing her didn’t want to sleep with a girl who puked. Those are just my zesty two cents. Anyway, so he got up and showered and she slept in a bit longer. This, ladies and gentleman is a rookie mistake. Why prolong your walk of shame? Get out before the sun comes up is my mantra that has gotten me this far. Anyway, Rebecca had a last bathroom stop before leaving the hotel and heading home.

It wasn’t until she got downstairs and the door was VERY locked, that she realized that she had left her key in the room on the dresser. Damn, Gina! At this point Rebecca is over the whole situation. She puked and ruined her chance of getting with a hot South American and now she was locked out of her apartment. She walks up to the desk agent (mind you she still has on last night’s clothes and in my head she looks a hot ass mess) and explains that she met a guy in the bar last night and went home with him and now has her key in his room. The desk clerk is NOT discreet in the least (I mean, why be so for what could very well be a high priced call girl) and the next thing Rebecca knows, the whole world is hearing her business. They ask for Alejandro’s last name but Rebecca doesn’t know this, which makes it look even shadier! This, ladies and zestlemen, is why when you meet someone, you get his/her FULL name.

Rebecca ended up getting her key and went on her merry way. I’m guessing all of this foolishness MIGHT have been avoided if people had said a simple “no” to the idea of taking shots of tequila after a long night of drinking. You can take this however you choose. Some may just avoid the tequila. I say that it should be embraced, just be mindful of where you put your keys and get a last name. I mean really, only hookers don’t ask last names.

*names have been changed to protect the busy and whorey.