BHM Bonus!

OK, so I didn't write any of this, but I read it on someone's wall today and thought it was funny as hell. Like it literally had me guffawing in my workplace. Get into it:



Dana Alexander
stolen from Brandy McMillen
LMAO! To celebrate the last day of Black History I bring you:

Please add these overlooked facts to your "firsts", while teaching your family, friends or students these important events during Black History month:

Dedrick "Slick" Lawrence - First person to wear a fur coat when it's not even cold outside.

Charles "Sweet Mac" Farnsley - First to call someone else a jive turkey.

TORNETTE PITTS: First to warp the time-space continuum by slapping
somebody into next week.

Sequoia Brimley - First person to go straight to church on Sunday after leaving the club earlier that morning.

LOUISE PERKINS: First person to attempt to climb into a casket at a funeral.

Rodney "Hot Rod" McKenzie - First to tell someone that they play too much.

THADDEUS COLLINS: First person to wear a shower cap outside.

CEEPHUS MCCOY: First to ask for change back from a church collection plate.

George Watley - First person to sneak an entire dinner into a movie theatre.

Amelia Wooten - First to start a soul train line at a wedding reception.

Edna B. Cash - First to refer to soap operas as "the stories."

MAVIS BLACKWELL: First to use the phrase "the illustrious" to describe her pastor (i.e. - "I am a member of 1st Corinthian Leather Baptist Church where the illustrious P.J. Jones is the Pastor").

Drew Graves - First to sell bootleg music and movies in barber shops and outside grocery stores.

TROY BOOKER: First to refer to a flavor of Kool-Aid as "red."

VIRGIL T. BANKS: First person to use the phrase "see, what had happened was..."

Johnston Green - First to refer to someone as "high yellow."

Precious Robinson - First person to keep her good jewelry in a Crown Royal bag.

Jamaica Masby - First to throw her hands in the air and wave them around as if she just didn't care.

Bennett "June Bug" McDaniel - Coined the phrase "My name is Bennett, and I ain't in it."

Jefferson Clarks - Normalized the practice of shaking up a handful of sunflower seeds before eating them.

UMAR X (birth name: Tyrone Griswold): First black male militant to marry a white woman.

Roland Jones - Perfected the "make four cuts on the side to keep the middle from bubbling up" method of frying bologna.

Jonathan "Lil' Johnny" Porter - First person to tell a woman he'd drink her bathwater.

EUGENE J. C. MILLSTON: First person to talk to the screen during a movie.

Marquita Parker - First person investigated by DCFS for burning her child's ears with a hotcomb.

TAWANDA DAVIS: First person to use hair gel to create baby hair all over her head.

WILL RICHARDS - First man to put something on his mama (i.e. - "TOUCH ME AGAIN AND WE GON' FIGHT, MAN, I PUT THAT ON MY MAMA!").

REV. W.J. SHANKLIN: Inventor of the church building fund.

Joseph Foster - First to inform people that you can't eat just anybody's potato salad.

Etta Lee Green - First person to call somebody else "worsome."

Rufus Wellsley - First man to shoot someone over a game of spades.

VERNON MCDANIELS: First person to eat a mayonaise sandwich.

Neeka "Nee" Hollsworth - First person to use the phrase "than a mug" to describe something (i.e. - "It is colder than a mug out here!").

Tyrone Clayburn - First person to refer to someone as a "play cousin."

Raynard Mack - First person to put a utility bill in a child's name.

JOHNNIE MAE WILKINS: First person to proclaim herself "too blessed to be stressed."

Georgia Buston - First person to attempt to heal a broken limb with
Robitussin and Witch Hazel.

WILLIE LAMBERT: First man to slap the taste out of somebody's mouth.

Trisha Jones: First person to have "been had" something (i.e. - "You just now getting that new Kenny Lattimore CD? Man, I been had that").

Jason Hill - First person to purchase $2 worth of gas at a gas station.

DELORES "BIG MAMA" COLE: First person to refer to diabetes as "that sugar."

ORVILLE WASHINGTON : First man to "wish a motherf**ker would...."

Buford Humphries - First man to walk into a salon and request that his hair be "fried, dyed, and laid to the side."

AMBROSE WILLOBY: First person to tell someone that they "don't know nothin' bout this"

Tenitra Hollbrook: First person to call somebody a player-hater.

Tamika Bunsen -First to begin a sentence with the phrase "me myself personally..."

SAMUEL HINKLEY, JR.: First person to take a picture in a Wicker Chair

Rorie McCauley. First person to tell somebody that she don’t have to do nothing but stay black and die
VONIQUE BATES: First person to successfully slap the black off of someone.

THALMA MARTIN: Cultivator of the "ni**a please" facial expression.

MAYBELL BROWN: First person to cover a piece of furniture in plastic for everyday use.

These Brothers and Sisters have been omitted from the history books. After having read this, you know why.